Realize, I'm Your's
by brighteyes87
Summary: Angel thinks that Buffy is dead for the second time after the Angel and the BtVS finale . But then again maybe she isn't. Will the two pair up again to fight evil? My first story that I've written and I'd love to know what you think! A/B plotline.
1. Chapter 1

**Realize, I'm Yours**

I based this roughly on the Colbie Caillat song and the new Jason Mraz song. Found inspiration in the lyrics

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of the story. I do not own the song posted.

Setting: This is the first story that I have ever written. It will make more sense as it goes and takes place a few years after the BtVS finale. While fighting another battle, she is thought to have died…

Chapter One

From inside the bedroom, the pounding of the rain against the windowpane was violent. The wind knocked loudly, the dark ominous clouds seemed only to add to the misery that was enveloping Southern California. This storm was an abnormality, and it only added to the pain that Angel was feeling as he paced back and forth in his bedroom. His mind was racing with thoughts, thoughts of her, her death. He didn't want to think about it anymore, he wanted to forget that it ever happened, or even more prevalent in his thoughts, he wished he could go back and make sure that it had never happened. He felt incomplete, although they were no longer together, she always was a part of him, he never stopped loving her, and now, it felt as though something was missing, a crucial part of his soul was taken from him and he would never get it back, the chance that they could someday still be together was only a dream now.

In a moment of complete insanity, he threw himself on the bed, if only a tear could be shed, if only there was some way that he could release the anger and passion inside of him then maybe he could have a solid chance at moving on, at remembering her and finding a way to let go. It was useless he knew, how could you mourn someone who you barely knew? She wasn't the same girl that she was when they were together, time had most certainly changed her. After all, his time apart from her had changed him as well, he no longer had the ability to find comfort in another, the only person who could comfort him was her and now… Now there was no chance of her ever coming back into his life, he failed her when he failed to protect her.

He sat up and cradled his head in his hands, if only he could get a sign, a sign that she was happy now. A sign that she forgave him for the anguish that he put her though. A sign that would tell him everything he needed to know, that she still loved him and cared for him as he did for her. Even though they could still never be together, he would have been immensely consoled knowing that she still loved him with all her heart.

_One Year Later_

One year had passed since that dreadful day that he learned of Buffy's passing. It still tore at him with every day that passed. He couldn't help to constantly wonder what could have happened, what would have happened if he had never left her alone in Sunnydale, if he had stayed with her, loved her openly. He needed to escape, to get out of Los Angeles, he felt suffocated, and he needed to find a place where he could try to sort through his thoughts. Quickly grabbing a bag, he pulled open his drawers and rummaged around grabbing clothes and aimlessly stuffing them into the bag.

He waited for nightfall before he left, sneaking out so no one would know he had left. It was the only way, the only way that he could actually leave without the others telling him that this effort was only in vain and that he just had to accept her death and try to move forward in life. He didn't want to forget her though, he wanted to remember, to remember her and how they use to be, he wanted to recreate those days in his head because the longer the time passed, the harder it was for him to remember all the memories he hoped he would keep forever. They were his only link left to her and as they faded, he began to feel helpless, he didn't want to concentrate on her death, he wanted to concentrate on her life.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

He arrived in a neighboring town near what use to be Sunnydale still quite early in the night. Finding a hotel was easier than he had expected, apparently, after the problems that had plagued Sunnydale it seemed that many of the towns nearby had a lack of visitors. He threw his bag down on the floor and fell down on the bed. He closed his eyes as he began to rustle up memories of Buffy and the time that they had spent together. He thought of one of their last nights together, the night she asked him to prom, the night so deeply burned into his memory.

_The fire was slowly starting to go out, it must have been morning already but he still had not had a single ounce of sleep, he was too entranced watching her sleeping next to him. He should have woken her, he knew Joyce would be curious as to Buffy's whereabouts, but he couldn't bring himself to rouse her. It had been an active night out on patrol, they were only going to lay for an hour or so but after that hour passed he just couldn't bring himself to entangle her from his arms. She looked so peaceful, the steady rise and fall of her chest as she breathed. A strand of hair feel in her face and he pushed it back with his fingertips, then let his hand rest around her waist. Her breathing started to change as she slowly came out of her deep sleep. He smiled, looking forward to being the first thing that she would see when she woke, he wished that it could be like this always. Her eyes fluttered open a few minutes later as a smile grew on her lips as she saw him watching her sleep. He smiled back at her, leaned forward, and kissed her softly._

It felt almost too real for him. As he slept, it seemed as though she was right there next to him, stoking his face, tangling her fingers through his hair. He longed to feel her body close to his. It was too hard to be here, harder than he had imagined. Although he wanted to stir up his memories of her, he never realized how painful the process would be. He never realized that with every memory that came back to him the more real she became to him and the more real her death became to him. It was as though he had spent the last year in denial. It had already been so many years since he had seen her last that by staying away, it was almost as though nothing had changed, she didn't die to him but being here he knew that she wouldn't be out patrolling at night, he didn't have the opportunity to bump into her has he could have had if he came a year earlier.

He continued to toss and turn for a few more hours, something wasn't right. He spent so much of his time tracking her that he knew when she was around, deep down he had a feeling that she was right there with him. It sounded crazy, he couldn't even convince himself of its truth but he continued to pray that it was all a misunderstanding that she didn't die. He got out of the bed, made his way to the heater in the room, and turned it on allowing the blast of heat to fill the area. Sitting down he hung his head and tired to figure out what his body was telling him and what his brain was telling him. Looking up he had hoped that she would be standing there in front of him, her hand stretched out towards him waiting for him to take her in his arms and never let go, to lead her to the bed and for them to fall asleep in the comfort of each other as they did so many years ago. That's exactly what he would have done now, what he should have done from the beginning. Letting her get away was the worst thing that he ever did, even though he knew it was the right thing to do, and now he would never know what could have been had he stayed to be with her.

He made it in his plan to go and seek Giles tomorrow night, to find out the truth behind her death, he knew that he was currently residing in the town as he found his information online before he left. He wanted to know if she was happy before that. He wanted to talk to someone who knew her like he did, someone who could help him express his feelings, help him get past this and move on. He hated feeling this way, he was weak, he needed something to get his strength back, and he needed to return to his old self. It wasn't as though this should have been a surprise to him, he knew that her job placed her in harms way, one false move and she could die but he always thought that she was above death. He wanted to believe that she was invincible and nothing would ever harm her, she was too perfect to die. He lay down on the couch and closed his eyes hoping that he might be able to get some sleep.

_At the same exact moment_

Buffy heard someone enter the house that Giles had set up for the two of them, she panicked, afraid that someone had found out about her faked death. This happened every night when Giles came home from the library at the town's local high school. Giles walked in and greeted her warmly, he always was rather like a father to her. Being cooped up in the house was not easy for someone like her, she had been use to being so active that by sitting idly at

the house she always felt on edge, the gym helped her to rid herself of some of the pent up aggression but it never allowed it all to be released.

"Hey Giles. How was your day?" Buffy asked, finally happy to have another person around to actually converse with instead of just watching mindless programs on the TV.

"Busy as usual. I've been doing research in order to figure out where to send you from here. Because everyone believes that you have died we are hoping that once you are strong enough and we get a strong enough army to support you we can take The Immortal by surprise and defeat him once and for all." Buffy sighed listening to him talk, she missed her friends, but they couldn't know that she was alive for fear of the information being leaked and all hell to break loose, both figuratively and literally and as the time of her reentry into the world becomes closer, the more afraid she becomes of the consequences of not telling them she was alive all this time. She was acutely aware of the pain that she has put them through this past year as she redeveloped her strength and prepared to enter the world of slaying again, she wasn't sure that they could ever forgive her for that.

As she turned the TV back on, a sudden feeling attacked her. Giles noticed immediately the change in her behavior, as she looked around confused. It was familiar, this feeling but she couldn't quite place it. Racking her brain, she tried to think hard, danger? No it wasn't a feeling of adrenaline, rather it was as though a warm blanket had been pulled over her and she was wrapped in securities arms. She realized that it had been a long while since she had felt this, and finally she was able to place it.

"What's wrong?" Giles questioned her, afraid that someone was lurking around or that she was in some sort of danger.

"It's Angel, he's nearby. I can feel him here." She responded quietly. "It took a moment to place, I haven't felt this way in a long time, but I'm certain he's here." Pulling her knees to her chest, she assumed a fetal like position. She hadn't thought about him in a while, she hadn't allowed herself to for fear that it would be too painful. He would always be her one true love, she knew that had circumstances been different, had he not been a vampire, then they would have been together forever. She fell into a trance, trying hard to block out the memories she was certain would start to settle into her mind.

"Buffy can you hear me?" Giles asked, looking at her with the concern of a father.

"What? Oh, yes, I can. I'm sorry, I just don't understand why he is here? What would make him come here?"

"I'll have to keep you in the upper part of the house tomorrow night Buffy. He is here for a reason, he must know that I live here right now and is coming to see me. I can't risk him seeing you."

Buffy nodded her head. She knew it was for the best if Angel didn't know she was alive, she figured that he had moved on anyways and information like the secret she and Giles had been harboring was too much for another person to bear. It wasn't his burden, she was no longer his burden. She stopped thinking and instead said goodnight and went to her room.

She glanced out the window and noticed a dark figure walking down the street. Ever since the truth about Sunnydale had been discovered people were less apt to walking around at night for fear that the evil had come into the neighboring towns. They were safe, however the imaginations of the public were vivid and instead many chose to remain indoors after nightfall. As the figure approached the house, she came to recognize the person as Angel. Looking out her heart began to race and she wondered if he could feel her, if he was still able to track her. He lifted his head and seemed to look straight at her, as if his eyes were seeing down into her soul. She gasped for air, unable to breathe, terrified that he would find out. Even though she loved him, still loved him, being with him was not an option for her, as long as he remained a vampire, they needed to stay away from each other. Afraid that he might be able to see her as he continued to look up at the window, she stepped back, still panting as she had yet to recover her breath, and lay down on the bed, intent on sleeping and waking up to find that it was hopefully only a dream.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

It was getting late but Angel still couldn't find sleep. He thought maybe a walk would help him calm down, help him sort through the thoughts in his head. He pulled on his coat and stepped outside, closing the door behind him as me made his way. It was a clear and cool night, the moon providing enough light for him to walk and maintain awareness of his surroundings. 

As he passed the cemetery, he felt pulled in. There were so many headstones how was he to know which was hers. It didn't take him long, within five minutes his eyes fell to one of the stones, it was decorated with flowers, it was obvious someone kept it up. 'Probably Giles' Angel thought as he sat down on the grass, touching the headstone with his palm. He knew her body wasn't there, they never would have found it, but the fact that they still gave her as proper of a goodbye as they could was touching. He laid down on the grass and looked up at the sky, wondering if she was watching him. The pain was more than he could bare, it was too soon, he should have waited a few more days before he came here, he just wanted to connect with her though, it was the only option he thought he had. Pulling himself up off the ground, he dug around in his pockets for Giles' address. 

After walking for ten minutes, he came upon the street. It was a well-lit area, with only ten houses or so. Most of the lights were off but the light in the front room of Giles' house was still on, and he stood there, watching the movement. He had a strange pull to look up at the window and as he did, he swore that he saw the reflection of a petite, beautiful blonde woman. 

'It couldn't be. Could it?' Angel asked himself as he stared up at the window above the garage at Giles' house. 'No, it's impossible.' He continued to insist to himself. He was seeing things, feeling things because he was confused. She was dead, he confirmed it when he went to the cemetery, and she wasn't standing there watching him. He thought about calling on Giles now but he figured it was in bad taste to come so late. He would have plenty of time to talk to him tomorrow. He took one last glance at the window to see that the figure had disappeared. 'See Angel, you're crazy, there isn't anything there.' He told himself as he walked back to the hotel, he needed to be back before the sun would rise.

The next morning Buffy woke up to find Giles knocking on the door. She called and told him it was alright to come in as she pulled a sweater on over her arms and pulled open the curtains allowing the room to be flooded with the sunlight. The weather was finally starting to cooperate as summer was approaching. Giles opened the door and walked in holding a note. Still hoping that everything from last night had truly been a dream and not in fact reality, she was cautious not to ask about the contents of the note, or even to tell Giles that she had seen Angel outside last night, she didn't want him to think he saw her, although she was almost positive that he had, even though it was impossible, his stare seemed to penetrate her soul.

Noting that Buffy was staring at the note he said, "It's from Angel, your senses were right. He is coming by tonight to talk to me. It doesn't inquire about anything else so it might just be about a problem he is having in Los Angeles or something. Nevertheless, it's imperative that you stay up here so that we can continue to hide you from the world until the timing is right." 

Buffy nodded in agreement, it was going to be difficult though, feeling his presence so closely, to know that he is only feet away from her but to actually never reveal herself to him. She needed a friend, she loved Giles, really she did but there were times when she longed to have someone around who she could talk to, not as a daughter talks to her father but as a girl talks to her friends, or if it were Angel, the way a girl talks to a man who she use to love, does love. It gets lonely not having anyone around and she wasn't sure how much longer she could bare this solitary.

After Giles said goodbye and left the house she quickly changed into her workout wear. She would make a small, quick breakfast before hitting the gym for the next two hours to work on releasing the growing energy that was building up. She cracked a few eggs on the rim of the mixing bowl and separated the whites from the yokes, chopped up a few vegetables and mixed it all up before putting it on the stove. Her thoughts turned to finally leaving this place, 'a few more weeks and I can finally be free from here, to actually walk around outside in the fresh air.' Snapping out of her daydream, she put the omelet on her plate and ate silently.

_At the same moment_

There was pounding on the hotel door that brought Angel out from his sleep. Cursing to himself, angry that for the first time of finally finding sleep he was being disturbed. 

"No maid service please!" He shouted angrily at what he thought was hospitality looking to clean the room. The pounding did not cease however and he pulled himself up from the bed and glanced through the peephole. It was Giles. Standing to the side of the door as to not allow the light from the day into the room he opened the door and allowed Giles to enter.

"I'm sorry for waking you." Giles looked around noting that the bed still had an imprint of a body. Angel nodded as if to say it was okay. "I just wanted to make sure that whatever it was, it wasn't an emergency."

"It's great to see you Giles. I just had some questions to ask. Nothing of any solid importance, they are about Buffy. I know it's been over a year but for some reason I can't seem to find closure, no one seems to understand what I'm going through. I thought that maybe you might, you were close to her." 

"I don't know if I can help you with that." He wanted to do anything he could to keep Angel away from the house, he was afraid of how it would affect Buffy, being so near to him and being unable to see him or speak to him. He had her best interests in mind, he knew how difficult the past year had been, being so alone with no one to speak to, having to live a lie. It wasn't something that he was proud of doing to her but he needed to find a way to keep her safe until she was strong enough to go back out into the world. He couldn't risk putting her in danger and that's exactly what would have happened if people knew she was still alive. 

"Please Giles… If anything I just need someone who can listen to me. To help me sort through this. Everyone back in LA, they have been great, really, but they aren't as connected to her as you are. I just want to talk to someone who knows what I'm going through. You can tell me how I can get over this, you've had to." 

Giles looked to the ground, how could he tell someone how to mourn someone he never had to. He took a deep breath. "Alright Angel, alright. Stop by tonight." With that Giles exited the hotel room and Angel lay back down on the bed and somehow, comforted by the fact that Giles would speak to him, found sleep once again.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four

Buffy sat at the window looking for Angel, it was almost ten so he would probably be showing up soon. Her heart raced with anticipation, if only she could see him, talk to him. She shook her head, 'Bad idea… No one can know that I'm still alive. No one.' She sighed as she watched his dark figure approach the house. She pulled away from the window to obscure herself as she watched him glance at the window. 'Maybe he does know' she told herself before grabbing a book to catch up on more reading.

_Hearing a noise behind her, she turned around, ready to defend herself from whatever was lurking behind the shadows. She knew that whatever it was, it was powerful._

"_You are facing the wrong direction, my love." She heard his voice say as she turned around, recognizing the voice and stunned at the same time. "I've kept you close so I could learn to defeat you."_

"_That's funny, I thought you kept me close because I was the only one who was able to satisfy your desire." She mocked although inside hurting from the betrayal. She caught in the corner of her eye movement on her right. She lifted the axe closer to her body ready to strike the next time that he got near her._

"_Of course your abilities in bed were one of the only things that made me continue this charade as long as I did, but honestly love, I think it's about time that you die." He started to laugh, heckling her almost. "You know your two ex lovers came looking for you once here. Found themselves in more than one fight with each other before they realized that you weren't worth it anymore. I guess in the end that was Andrew's doing as it was him who told them you had moved on and were in love with me. It's a shame they left before I could come across them. In all honesty I was hoping to use you to lure them in. Never liked those two, I thought I had done away with them with Darla and Drusilla. When I found out about you it was just too good to be true, with you I could hurt them both with so little effort"_

_He came up from behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist before attempting to dig his teeth into her neck. She moved her leg, kicking him in the groin and moving away from his arms. He advanced towards her once again, she swung the axe at him, just grazing his left shoulder. _

"_Feisty today I see. And here I was hoping that I had more than tired you out last night." He grabbed the axe this time from her, he was more powerful than she had originally thought. He used the weapon on her, just nicking her arm as he swung it back. "Oh, what a waste of good blood. Blood that I'd been hoping to try for the past few months." _

With a startle, she awoke from her dream, perspiring and panting. Her heart rate was greatly increased as the memories of the night she almost died came flooding back towards her. She had tried to suppress them long enough that it seemed Angel's presence was causing her to jumble her emotions and memories. The Immortal proved to be someone she didn't know he was. He always seemed to love her, to cherish her, it was almost as though he became what Angel and Spike had failed to be. He read into her soul and then used it against her, it was fighting dirty and it was foolish of her to let her guard down, thinking that he wouldn't really try to hurt her if she was able to reason it out with him. She sighed trying to suppress the emotions again and then glanced at the clock, midnight. Angel was probably still around, Giles hadn't come up yet to debrief her about the encounter. 

Putting the book down that sent her into her sleep, she then snuck out the door as quietly as she could she went to the landing of the stairs. She knew it was imprudent and that if Giles had caught her he wouldn't be happy to know that she was making herself vulnerable. She tried not to think about it, but instead, to find their voices, to hear what they were talking about, what had been so important to drive him from Los Angeles to here. She heard their voices rather muffled but was still able to make out the basics of the conversation.

"I just don't understand Giles. She must have known he was evil so what made her fall for him as she did? I know for a fact it wasn't a love spell, my informer told me that he doesn't use them." Angel questioned. He was still unsure as to how Buffy could have let herself get involved with someone like him.

"I hate to break it to you Angel, but she got involved with you, with Spike… She isn't normal, she never will be. Maybe he was able to give her what she needed at the time, she felt vulnerable, and we all do sometimes. Even though she wasn't normal, she still was human; she made a mistake, a terrible and tragic mistake."

"You seem to be managing her loss well. I just feel like I'm to blame for this. I knew that she was seeing him, I knew what he was like and yet I left Rome and went back to LA. I could have changed this, if I had found her I could have brought her back. When my informant told me that she had died I couldn't help but feel responsible. I'm what I am to help people, to help her." His mind raced back to that day that he traded his humanity to become what he was once again, that way he could be around to protect her whenever she was in need of him. He shook his head, there were other problems he had to deal with first.

"That's your problem Angel, that's why you can't move on. You need to stop feeling responsible for her death. What happened in Rome wasn't because of you. You couldn't have changed her mind, we all know exactly how stubborn she is. She loved you, she wouldn't want you tormenting yourself with this, she would want you doing what you do best, fighting." 

Angel hung his head, he knew that Giles was right. Even if he had found Buffy when he and Spike were in Rome and they learned of her relationship, there was nothing that they could have done to stop her. Moreover, the chances of her leaving with them were slim, even they knew that, they just didn't want to accept it. "I know you're right. It's just being here. Even right now, sitting here talking with you, I feel like she is still here. It makes it that much harder." 

"I understand. I know exactly what you are going through. I always feel like she is here with me, with all of us. And she probably is, watching over each and every one of us to make sure that we are safe. It's what she does, and it's what she will probably do for the rest of eternity." Not quite a lie, Giles thought, it wasn't easy lying to Angel, he knew better than anyone that the pain Angel was feeling was real, not to mention the fact that Angel could still feel her was detrimental to her staying in secrecy, he had to find the right way to spin it to make him believe that she was really gone. He watched Angel stand up and take one last look around. 

"Thanks Giles. I think I just needed someone who understood where I was coming from. I can't say that I'm going to get over this any faster, but it helped. It really was great to see you again, if you are ever in LA look me up." Angel extended his hand out to Giles and Giles took it, shaking it goodbye.

"Stay safe Angel." Angel walked out the door, he still had a few more hours to kill before he had to be back inside. He'd leave the suburb the next night, there wasn't enough time to make the drive back to LA and he didn't want to risk it. He looked back at the window and saw nothing but her presence was more apparent than ever, the air felt thick around him, he just wished he had been able to give her a proper goodbye, the last time they had actually spoken he hadn't been too kind to her, his jealousy over her relationship with Spike had been all that he was able to think about. He shook his head, it was in the past, he knew that she was always aware of how much he cared about her, in the end that was really all that mattered to him, that she knew how much she was loved.

After Giles showed Angel out the door he went upstairs to check on Buffy. She was still in her room, sitting in the chair over by the window. Glancing outside she saw Angel standing there and her heart longed for her to go after him, to tell him that it was all a lie, that she was alive and well. A tear fell down her cheek but she wiped it away almost as quickly as it appeared. Feeling him so near, knowing that he was there was unbearable. More than ever she knew that all she wanted in life was to be with him but she couldn't and she was certain that she would never be able to. Looking up she noticed that Giles was standing there watching her with curiosity. 

"Why did he come to Rome? How could he have possibly known where I was?" Her head turned back towards the window, he had vanished into the night by now.

"He was just keeping tabs on you, to know that you were alright. He wasn't the only one who did it. I did it too, thankfully, I got there when I did. Otherwise you sitting here, that wouldn't be a reality."

"So what did he come here for?" 

"He is mourning Buffy." Giles took a seat on the edge of her bed and looked at her. "He feels that he is to blame for what happened to you. Something about how he knew the Immortal and they were enemies. He is convinced that the Immortal was after you to lure him and Spike in. When he didn't get what he wanted, at least he got one of the things, to kill the slayer. Fortunately he doesn't know you are alive and what kind of mess he has created in the process. Angel is going to find him, I'm almost sure of that. More than ever he wants him dead."

"He can't fight him alone." Buffy replied, she had tried and failed, her weakened state had not allowed her to go after him the way she should have. 

"I won't let him. I'm going to give him a call in a few days to see what his progress is. He has more resources at his disposal. Then we will follow him to wherever he goes and you will help him if you are up to it, otherwise we will find someone else who can." Giles told her.

Buffy nodded, "I want to do it. I want to kill that son-of-a-bitch more than you could ever imagine."

"I figured as much." Giles sat up from the bed and said good night.

"Good night…" She whispered as the door closed behind him. "Giles wait!" He opened the door at her demand. "Wouldn't it be better than if he just knew I was alive? Then showing up where he is, confusing him?" 

"What your saying is, wouldn't it be better for you if he knew you were alive? Buffy I know how lonely you are. I'll let you make this decision. Will not telling him help or hurt the two of you? Good night. The choice is yours." For the second time, he left, closing the door behind him. She knew she had to make her decision soon, he would be leaving tomorrow night to go back to LA.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Five

Angel walked around the town for a little while wondering what he was going to do next. His desire to go after the Immortal was stronger than ever now. He heard some branches cracking behind him and he turned around to see if something had been following him. There wasn't anything there, he seemed to be going crazy, between hearing things that weren't there and feeling things that weren't there. He wasn't sure who he was anymore. He continued to walk to the hotel, he had to start packing his things up if he was going to get out of there tomorrow night. 

Buffy followed him, panicking when he heard he branches snap under her feet she darted behind a tree. She had to keep a solid distance behind him in case she lost her cool and decided not to tell him what was going on. She wasn't sure how he was going to react. She never wanted to hurt him, deep down she hoped that maybe he would have been able to move on and when she was revealed to still be alive he would have been off limits. Now she was afraid that her desire to be with him had only grown. Crouching behind a car in the parking lot of the hotel she watched him open the door, glance around to make sure no one was there and entered.

She stood up and slowly made her way up the stairs. Her heart was racing. Maybe it wasn't the right time. Panicking, she turned around, ran down the stairs, and off into the street. She had to wait, just because she was tired of being alone didn't mean that this was the right time to disrupt his world. She didn't look back, even after she heard his door open. She was sure he saw her this time but she couldn't go back. When she was more sure of herself she would go to LA, but right now, she needed to be sure of what was happening and that she would be ready to fight again. 

Angel heard noise on the walkway of the hotel. He dropped the shirt in his hand and ran to the door, as he opened it he saw the figure of a blonde woman running away at record pace. His eyes widened. 'No, it couldn't be her. I'm imagining it. It's just the grief talking.' He told himself watching as she disappeared around the corner. He went back into the room and finished packing. Switching the TV on he laid back down on the bed. His mind was full of questions as to who the girl he saw running was, he couldn't find sleep and now that the sun was coming back up he wouldn't be able to leave the confinement of the room. 

"_I don't think we should rush into anything too quickly." He told her, looking at her sitting at the other end of the table. "I want to make sure that you aren't going to get hurt again." _

"_Well it's a good thing that I hadn't fantasized about you becoming human about ten zillion times before because this would have been a real let down." She said getting up._

"_No don't. I don't mean that I don't want to be with you, I want to be sure this sticks."_

"_So how does this work? We keep in touch? I mean not literally. You call me? I call you?"_

"_Yea…" He replied, she moved closer to him as she was about to say goodbye he grabbed her wrist, looking into her eyes. It was torture, to have her so close and not be able to touch her. 'Screw it' he said leaning down as his lips pressed passionately against her own. It wasn't long before they were in each other's arms, her legs wrapped tightly around his waist as he carried her to the table._

The alarm that he had set was buzzing as he was woken up from the blissful dream. Although he was sure of the reality of the dream, that's all it really was anymore, she didn't remember, couldn't have remembered but that was what he wanted. Pulling himself up from the bed he dressed, grabbed his bag and walked down to his car, it was time to get back to LA and start planning his revenge against the Immortal for taking away the one person who he ever truly loved.

_Meanwhile…_

Buffy ran straight back to the house and didn't stop to give Giles details on what had, or rather, what had not happened. She was stupid, acting on her stupid impulses. Although she use to be sure of herself in stressful situations she seemed to be broken, no longer willing to trust her gut. 'What's the worst that could have happened? I 

don't even know what I would have said to him,' she told herself in her head. She needed a plan and that was something that she had once been good at putting together.

She changed into her sleep shorts and a tank top and then pulled the covers up on her bed, wedging herself between them. Wrapping her arms around the body pillow she sought to find comfort and hopefully sleep. All she wanted to do was get the thousands of thoughts that were running through her mind out of her head, to be quiet among the solitude, something that she hadn't seemed to find in the year that she had taken herself out of society. She closed her eyes and tried to find sleep.

"_Why are you doing this?" She asked, trying to stay calm as the blood slowly ran down her right arm. She tried not to think about the pain that the cut had caused but instead try and find a way to push through it. _

"_Because it's what I like to do." He responded, swinging the axe at her once again. She ducked this time, just missing the sharp blade against her stomach. Gathering her strength she kicked him, trying to get him to drop the axe. He fell but got up quicker than she had hoped, his hands still holding on to the weapon. She looked around trying to find anything that she could use to defend herself with. Laying on the ground was a broken piece of pipe, it wasn't too long but it would have to do. _

_She ran towards it, crouching low to pick it up. Quickly she stood back up, holding it out, ready to battle with him. She heard him laugh._

"_That pitiful pipe will do nothing to protect you. You of all people should know who I am. You should know that I was supposed to kill you before you even got involved with me. What would your watcher have said? He must be so proud of you." He heckled her. He wanted to stir her up, make her angry. "What are you waiting for slayer?"_

_She advanced, using the pipe as a sword. The axe was stronger though and she wasn't sure how much longer she could hold him off with it. Putting her weight on one leg she tried kicking it away from him but it was no use and he cut her thigh in the process. She stumbled back, falling down in the process, watching as he loomed over her. She was tired, she felt weak and she wasn't sure what was happening to her._

"Buffy? Buffy wake up." Giles was standing over Buffy trying to wake her up. She had been tossing and turning, mumbling various things. He could tell that she was having some sort of a nightmare. Her eyes opened and she looked up at him, she was breathing hard. "Are you okay?" He asked sitting down next to her on the bed.

"Just a nightmare. I seem to be having those a lot lately. Mainly revolving around what happened the first time I battled with the Immortal." 

"That's to be expected. Things are changing, you are almost strong enough to fight again. Angel came, everything is a mess in your head now. Don't worry about it too much." He replied, putting his head to her forehead.

Buffy sat up, "I know you're right but I just can't help but feel like he knows I'm alive. The Immortal, I mean. I'm almost positive Angel knows I'm alive." Giles opened his mouth as he started to ask her a question. "No, I didn't talk to him last night. I couldn't do it, just show up. But I know he heard me, and I know he saw me. I figure I'll give it a week or so, figure out what I'm going to say. I know I'm strong enough to go back to work, but I'm not sure I'm strong enough to face everyone who thinks I'm gone. I don't know how I'm going to deal with all this, I wouldn't blame them if they hated me. I just need to work on a plan. I know it will work itself out."

Giles nodded. "So, you're going to go to LA next week?"

"I think so. Yes." Buffy replied and Giles nodded.

**A/N: I'm going out of the country for the week starting on Thursday and will not have a computer. However, I am planning on trying to get one last chapter up before I fly out. I hope that you are enjoying the story so far and would appreciate and comments good or bad. I am really looking to just improve on my writing. Thank you for taking the time to read this story. I have enjoyed writing it thus far and will miss updating during the next few days**. 


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter Six

Angel arrived back in Los Angeles about an hour after he left the tiny suburb. Something didn't feel right while he was there and that feeling only seemed to follow him. He thought going back to find answers would help him sort through it but it only made him more confused. 'Who could that have been?' he asked himself thinking back to the blonde girl he saw running away from his hotel. She looked so much like her but how could it have been? He walked into his room and threw the bag down on the floor. He would have all afternoon to unpack, right now he just wanted to sleep.

He pulled his shirt over his head and kicked his shoes off. Quickly he pulled down his trousers and made his way to the bed. It was still unmade, just as he left it. He hated to leave things a mess but he was too focused on getting away to bother much with comforters and pillows. Holding the sheets up, he slid in, pulling his legs up until he was horizontal. He closed his eyes, sighed and turned over.

_She opened the door to the room that he was sitting in. She had changed from her costume and into her pajamas. She looked beautiful, earlier it was as if she was trying too hard to be something that she wasn't, something that he didn't want her to become. _

"_Why did you think that I would want you to dress up like that anyhow?" He asked as she walked closer to him. As she explained that she had figured he might want someone who he had years ago he couldn't help but chuckle in his head. He looked at her intently, assuring her that they were not the type of women that he wanted, they were dull and boring._

"_I always wished I could meet someone exciting, interesting." He responded watching the smile grow on her face. He would to anything to make that last, to have her smile forever like that at him._

"_Really? Interesting how?"_

"_You know how." He responded playfully as she moved closer to him._

"_Still I had a really hard day, you should probably tell me." She was almost in his lap now, her eyes twinkling with mischief, at that moment he never thought she had ever looked to beautiful. _

"_You're probably right. I should."_

"_Definitely." She responded just before he pulled her closer and kissed her._

It seemed that she had begun to inhabit his dreams. However, his idea of whether or not it was a good thing was still questionable. He didn't want to spend the rest of his time sleeping but if it meant spending time with her, even if it was just memories of her, he thought that it was better than nothing having her at all. 'No, you have to go on living.' He told himself when he woke up, 'she wouldn't want it to be like this. Since I can't have her back, I'll make him pay for what he took away.'

_Meanwhile…_

The days seemed to drag on and yet she had still not come up with the best way to break the news to everyone that she was still alive. She could tell Willow, Xander… But she had no idea as to who she should contact first. Then there was Angel. It had been so long since she had seen him, years in fact and here he was, back in her life. He seemed to have this pull on her, he always had and now with her health finally restored it seemed like such bad timing for this. She had spent the past year trying to get better so she could finish what was started a year ago. Now she was afraid that at the sight of him she would turn to liquid. Seeing him again just only affirmed that her feelings ran deeper than she had allowed herself to believe.

_She sat down at the table, his jacket over her shoulders as she looked around for him, he would probably show up eventually and she made a point of making sure that she looked her best. After a few minutes she felt someone behind her. Looking over her shoulder she saw him standing there, his eyes burning down into hers as he began to speak she could hear nothing, just her own thoughts, wondering who he was._

"_Of course, it would make things easier if I knew how to get in touch with you, or who you were."_

_He looked down at her, "I'll be around."_

"_Well, anyways, you can have your jacket back." _

"_No, it looks better on you." He responded and walked away. It was at that moment that she knew that she was in trouble of falling for him. His mysterious nature only seemed to captivate her even more. It was a bad situation to be in, she couldn't be the Slayer and be in love, the two just didn't mix. Even if he was the only guy who had ever made her feel just this crazy._

The memory only made her more crazy as she punched and kicked the moving bag, knowing that she had to find some way to get this energy out. She missed patrolling, even though she might never admit it. It was the rush, the thrill of the danger that was lurking in the darkness, not to mention, kicking evils butt every now and then felt pretty damn good too. She had been at it with the punching bag for the last hour, it was obvious even to her that her stamina had not only returned but the constant time spend in the gym had only served to improve it.

Reaching out, she grabbed the bag and steadied it. That was enough for the day, there wasn't any point in over doing it. Besides she had to find some way in which she could steady the blow of revealing herself back into society. She grabbed the water bottle and left the gym. 'I could kidnap them and tell them… No to drastic and rather weird. They would freak. I could write them a letter, it would be easier than doing it face to face. No, that was too cowardly and surely a good way to incite their anger. I could just tell them in person.' It was the only logical, non-cowardly approach. Sure they would be angry but they would understand if she just told them the whole story. They would have to understand, she knew that they were good people, that they loved her. Even though she might have caused them pain, the fact that she was alive would probably overshadow that.

Back in her room, she tried to figure out how to tell Angel. It seemed that she didn't have very many options and the only logical one would be to head to LA and see him in person. She already knew, or at least was damn positive that he had seen her. Hiding out would do nothing. Besides, she could put aside her feelings and work with him. She wouldn't let their past and seemingly still strong chemistry get in the way, she had a job to do, and she would do it.

She reached into the back of her closet and pulled out her suitcase. Dust had gathered on it as it had been so long since she had taken it out from its place in the closet. Dusting it off she put it on the bed and opened it. Quickly she began to gather some of her things, filling it up to the top as she was unsure as to how long she would be gone. She figured that with the resources that Angel had available to him, she was of better use there, helping doing the research and plotting with him just how she could seek her revenge and once and for all eliminate The Immortal.

**A/N: Sorry that I wasn't able to get another chapter before I left but here is one for now. I promise that the next chapter will be longer! As always, I would love to know what you think and/or what you might like to see happen. I've been toying with the idea of bringing Spike into the picture to cause a little bit of drama. I will be updating soon though!  
**


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter Seven

The morning sun shone brightly into the bedroom. She had forgotten to shut the curtains and the warm sunlight hit her face, waking her from her sleep. It was hard to believe that it had been a week since Angel had left. It had seemed like the days had passed so slowly and now that it was time to leave she felt unsure. Near the door her suitcase sat, it was filled with the necessities, as much as she could pack. Sitting up she pushed her hair out of her face and looked outside. Summer had finally come and the heat was undeniable. Glancing at the clock, she sighed 'it's 10am and it is hotter than hell already. Thank you California summers.'

She pushed the sheets off her body, stood up, and pulled her tank top down a bit as it had shifted and had risen above her belly during the night. She heard a light tapping at the door and assumed that it was Giles so she walked over and opened it to find him standing there. She knew that he had been worried, he had recognized that over the past week she had not been the same. Then again she hadn't been the same for the past year, everything had changed. Trying to kill the Immortal had been just as traumatic to her as when she had actually killed Angel, or rather, Angelus as he wasn't actually the Angel that she had known and loved at the time. Nothing was worse than going against a person, well, a demon, who you thought you loved and loved you back.

He glanced at the suitcase, "I take it you are packed?"

Buffy nodded, following his gaze. "I know it's one of my larger suitcases but I really don't know how long I'm going to be gone for. I don't know how long tracking the Immortal is going to take." In her heart she hoped it would take a while, she wanted to be around Angel, to feel him near her again, to talk to him, to be with him, but in her head she knew that the shorter amount of time she spent with him, the better off everyone was.

"Do you want me… Would you want me to accompany you?" Giles asked cautiously. He knew that things had been difficult on her and he wanted to make sure that she was ready to take this next step.

"I think I'll be okay. I need to do this on my own. This is my past and if I'm ever going to get past it then I need to take these steps alone. It's the only way that I can make a better future for myself, for those around me." Giles only nodded, he understood. She had demons in her past, literal and figurative ones and if she was ever going to move on, she could only do that by facing them on her own, she couldn't depend on him or anyone else for that matter.

"If you need anything."

"I know where to reach you." She finished his sentence.

He smiled at her and hugged her goodbye. He figured if he hadn't heard from her in a week he would find a way to get in touch with her. It wasn't as though he didn't know were Angel was, and he knew that the two of them would be together, trying to sort this mess out. He just hoped that hear heart was ready for what it was about to be put through. Of course he knew that she was smart enough not to get involved, he knew that their love for each other was stronger than any that he had ever seen before. Moreover, he couldn't help but be worried about what was going to happen when they were finally reunited. They made a stellar team when it came to fighting evil but when it came to love they always seemed to never be on the same page, they never seemed to be able to make it work and the last thing he wanted to see was Buffy get her heart broken again in Angels hand.

After Giles had left she jumped in the shower, she still had logistics to work out. She could head straight for Wolfram and Hart, wait and see if he was around, or she could try and find where he was residing and surprise him there. Although she wasn't sure if it would really be a surprise. Wolfram and Hart would be the best place to go, at least it would be public, she was sure that she couldn't let her feelings for him show as much as if they were in private. 'If only it was that simple,' she thought. She knew that he was able to read her thoughts, not literally but her feelings for him had always shown on her face, and she wasn't sure if she would be able to play it cool and calm. He would literally be the first person that she would reveal herself to and he would know that, assume it was because she still loved him, which she did, and then they would be placed in the difficult situation that they always seemed to find each other in. It was unbearable, but she would have to find some way to get through it, to work with him side by side without the romantic entanglements.

_They were supposed to be out hunting the two Texan vampires that had found their way into Sunnydale, but they couldn't tear themselves apart. They were alone and could finally be together after the daylight had separated them as it did every day. It was unbearable to be apart, and when they were together all they wanted to do was find comfort in each other's embrace, to connect their bodies through the heat and passion of their kiss. When they finally pulled away, Buffy needing to come up for air, Angel would have continued to kiss her for eternity if she wasn't in need of the oxygen, they started to speak about the future. He tensed up as she began to speak about children, he couldn't have children and knowing that she had been thinking about it seemed to make him uncomfortable, it was another area in which he couldn't give her what she wanted. She told him it didn't matter, the future didn't matter._

"_So you really don't think about what you want one year from now? Five years?" He asked her, his eyes meeting hers as they stood in the cemetery among the darkness._

"_Angel, no. When I look into the future, all I see is you. All I want is you." She told him, trying to make him understand, to show him that it didn't matter what he could or could not give her, all that mattered was that they would be together. _

"_I know the feeling." He responded and pushed her against the tombstone that was behind her, his lips desperately seeking to find hers. She felt his arms wrap tightly around her waist, his cool hands resting on her back as he pulled her closer into him as she wrapped her arms tightly around his neck never wanting to let go of him. _

She finished rinsing out the conditioner and then turned the water off. She needed to stop falling into her memories, she needed to push them out of her mind, it wasn't as if he was the same man, demon, whatever he was considered nowadays, anymore. Quickly she stepped out of the shower and toweled off, got dressed and grabbed the suitcase. Giles had left the car for her, and she grabbed the keys, threw the suitcase in the back and started to make her way towards Los Angeles.

_Meanwhile_

Angel sat there at his desk trying to do the work that he needed to complete. His mind was elsewhere as it had been for the past week. He couldn't seem to concentrate on anything, even the research that he was conducting to find the Immortal was not enough to keep his mind from drifting back to her. He threw the file down on the desk and leaned back in his seat. This was hopeless. He was never going to find the Immortal alone and he had failed to tell Spike about his trip to see Giles, or the fact that he was certain that he had seen Buffy. 'Come on Angel, not certain, but completely confused as to who the mystery girl was,' he told himself. If he had told Spike he knew that he would help, the two had been able to bond over hearing about Buffy's death, they no longer felt the need to compete for her affections, but at the same time, if she was alive, there was no way he was going to let Spike try and take her away from him.

He looked at the computer and tried to do more research, from what he had been able to find the last place that the Immortal had been seen was in Rome but he fled when he murdered Buffy and had been keeping a rather low profile ever since. There were some people who had claimed that he was residing in England, near the coast by Brighton. Others said that he had moved to the Netherlands and was taking up residence in Amsterdam. The final information that he had found was that he had left Europe and was instead in Australia, near Sydney. There wasn't enough solid evidence for him to go on and he wasn't sure how much longer it would take before he was sure of the Immortals' residence, he didn't want to go trekking aimlessly around Europe, or the world for that matter. He wanted to know exactly where he was, that way he could plan exactly how he would take his life. He wanted to make the bastard suffer just as much has he made Buffy and himself suffer.

He closed his eyes. It was getting late and the longer he stared at the books and the computer the harder it became for him to focus on the work at hand. There was still so much to be done though, and he wanted to get this done sooner, he wanted to seek his revenge now, hoping that he could find peace in the killing. He sat back up in the chair and marked the pages in the books that he had read before closing them and staking them in a neat pile on the side of the desk. He turned the computer off and just as he was about to turn off the light, he noticed the figure of a blonde woman wandering about the deserted halls. For fear of startling her and because he had yet to see her face, he watched her, wondering who this woman was and why she looked so much like the girl he was in love with. As he leaned closer over the desk to get a better glimpse, he knocked over a few of the books causing her to turn and look him straight in the eyes.

"Buffy?" He called. Surely, his eyes were playing tricks on him as he watched her approach his office. He was certain that the girl looked exactly like her and as she entered through the door of the office, he knew that he had not been mistaken.

"Hi Angel." She responded as she looked at him, her green eyes, the eyes he thought he would never again look into, met his own.

**A/N: Thanks for all those who have been leaving feedback! It really helps because it lets me know that you appreciate my style of writing! As promised, this chapter is a little longer and I left it with a bit of a cliffhanger. I do already have a plan for the next chapter and I'm hoping to get it finished very soon. As always please continue to leave feedback good and bad as it will help me make this story more enjoyable for not only you but also for me! I really hope that you have enjoyed this new chapter!**


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter Eight

Buffy had driven all day. Although it only took an hour in good traffic to reach Los Angeles she couldn't bring herself to enter the hotel which now served as the headquarters for Angel's own Wolfram and Hart. Although the old branch had been sent to the hell dimension, he established his own, for the use of doing good, as he had wanted to do all along, without the others to tell him that he couldn't. She rested her head on the steering wheel and looked around, people were passing in and out at a regular pace until around six in the evening when a whole lot of people exited the building, dashing to their cars as another work day had finished.

There were only about five cars left in the parking lot, hers included. She saw his black Plymouth and knew that there wouldn't be any chance in avoiding him any longer. She had to get it over with, to ask for his help and then leave him, like he had left her. She opened the door and let herself out, her jeans squeaking against the hot leather of the seats. Although night was falling the heat had not ceased, she threw her sweater down on the seat and closed the door, locking it with the remote as she made her way to the building. Looking up she saw some lights that were turned on, it was a giant building, it might take a while to find him.

Opening the door of the hotel, she saw a list of the floors, Angel's name was printed on a sign. 'I guess it would be easier than I thought,' she said in her head as she made her way to the elevator. She pressed the button and her heart started to pound in her chest as she pressed the button to his floor. It would only be a few minutes before she would be face to face with him. The doors to the elevator opened and she stepped out. A few offices had their lights on and she started to peak around, although there were people in them, none of them were Angel.

All of a sudden there was a loud crash which startled her and caused her to turn around. There he was, leaning over his desk looking straight at her. 'Not exactly what I had in mind,' she said as she regained her composure, her heart now feeling as though it was going to jump out her chest and onto the floor. She heard him call her name. From the tone in his voice she could tell he was confused. Walking closer to the door she watched him stand up, his stature was larger than she had imagined, it was as if he had grown. She stood in the doorway and looked at him for a minute, watching the expression on his face as he said her name again.

"Hi Angel." She said, stepping through the threshold and into his office. She tried to read his face but she couldn't. It was somewhere between incredulity, happiness, and angst. He didn't speak, instead he walked closer towards her as if he thought she didn't exist, as though he was seeing a mirage, it wasn't until he was close enough to her that he reached out and touched her, his cold hands pressing against her warm cheek, did he say anything.

"I thought… You're dead. I saw your grave. I went to Giles. What?" He was confused and she understood.

She reached out and touched his face, her hand feeling the familiar coolness of his jaw. "I'm not dead." She whispered as his head dropped down and he pressed his forehead against her own. They stood there for a while, not saying a word to each other as they tried to evaluate the situation. For her it was as though she became alive again under his touch, her worries and her fears about what would happen in the following weeks or months ceased to exist, all she felt was the passion that she had tried so hard to suppress all these years. For him, it was as though his prayers had been answered, as though for the first time in his life he was being rewarded for everything that he had done. Although he knew that he still could not be with her in his vampire state, the fact that she was alive was all he wanted, that way, if he ever was able to be human again, he could be with her, as he had always wanted to be.

They pulled away from each other, their eyes locked again.

"How? How is this possible?" He questioned, reaching down and taking her hand into his.

"Giles. Just before the Immortal was about to finish me off for good, he came… The Immortal fled, he thought I was dead already but Giles took me away, helped me gather my strength back." She watched him wince whenever she mentioned the Immortals name. "I've been in hiding for over a year now. No one knows. No one can know."

"Why me then?" He could feel the heat of her hand against his.

"Because I can't do this alone, because the last time I tried to, I almost died. I need help." She responded, her eyes starting to well up with tears. He could see just how difficult this was for her.

"Then you know that I'll help you. That I'll protect you from whatever will hurt you." He wrapped his arms and pulled her close to him. His body tingled all over as he felt her warm body next to his. He had dreamed of this, he had waited so long and now here she was, back in his arms and he didn't want to let anything happen to mess this up. She started to cry into his chest as he held her tighter, closing his eyes so he could just enjoy the sensation of her in his arms.

_She dropped the hammer that she had used to destroy the skeleton of the Master. Her whole body seemed to go limp as the tears started falling down her cheeks. He moved in close to her and wrapped his arms around her holding her tightly, wishing that everything that she was feeling, the pain and torment that she had been put through, that he could absorb it and take it away so she could be happy again. She didn't need to spend her life brooding like he did, she could go out and live her life, to be truly happy, to see her like that, it was as though his dead heart was breaking. _

"_It's okay… It's okay." He whispered in her ear as she clung to his body._

She pulled away and wiped the tears off her face. "I'm sorry. We can't…" Her voice trailed as she looked at him. Her head continued to tell her no, that she couldn't let her guard down around him again, that they couldn't get involved because they would only end up hurting one another.

"I know…" He responded. After a few moments of silence, he smiled at her to let her know that it was okay, that they could work together and maintain their emotions. He saw that her suitcase was still resting on the floor by the elevator. "Do you have a place to stay?" He asked.

"I haven't even figured that out." She said shaking her head as she did.

"Come on, I have plenty of room in my room." He rested his hand against the small of her back, noticing that as he touched her she took a sharp breath. It was at that moment that he knew that if circumstances had been different then they could have been together.

She was exhausted. Both physically and mentally and as soon as they made it to his room, she collapsed on the bed. He helped her get situated, pulled the covers over her to keep her warm and kissed her forehead once she had fallen asleep. He sat by the bed and just watched her, the steady rise and fall of her chest as she took each breath, the peacefulness of her face as she found sleep. Being there with her, seeing her, made him realize all the more just how lonely his life had been without her. When she was around he felt as though he were whole, well more whole than he really was.

Suddenly, her body became more ragged and her breathing more intense. She started to thrash over the bed in distress. He knew at once that she was in the middle of a terrible dream and as soon as he heard her mutter the word "Immortal" he figured it had something to do with the night that she almost died at his hands. It was then that he realized just how traumatic this situation had been, sure she had died before, and she had defiantly killed someone that she had loved before but this time, this time she had almost died instead. When she slew him, she wasn't as physically hurt as she was when she tried to slay the Immortal and now all she could do was relive what had happened. He moved onto the bed and took her in his arms to wake her up not wanting her to have to experience that night again, wanting her to find a peaceful sleep. Her arms tightened around his neck as he rocked her in his arms.

When she was coherent, she pulled away and looked up at him. "Don't leave." She whispered.

"Never." He responded as he kicked his shoes off and got into the bed with her, holding her in his arms as she fell back asleep. He knew then that things were going to be interesting, especially when Spike would show up to work the next day. How was he going to keep her away from Spike so that he couldn't try to take her away from him. He took pride in the fact that she had come to him instead of Spike for help, it showed that she trusted him more, thought about him more, but he still couldn't help but feel insecure that Spike might be able to manipulate her into going back with him. If that happened he would once again be alone and without her, and that was something he never wanted to happen again, he didn't think he could bear it another time.

**A/N: Hope you are enjoying it. I promise that this will be a Buffy and Angel story, I believe that they should have always been together and that's the only way I can write the story if I want to be happy about it! I just want to bring Spike in for drama. Let me know what you think, I really appreciate the feedback! I promise more chapters this weekend!  
**


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter Nine

She woke in the middle of the night to the feeling of arms wrapped around her tightly. It was comforting to know that there was someone there who was looking after her, who just wanted to make her feel better. She moved her head and looked at him, his eyes were closed and a small smile played on his lips as he slept. Reaching up with one hand, she moved a bit of his hair off his forehead letting her hand linger on his face. It was a face she knew so well, one that she had often seen in her dreams, the one that she had always wanted to wake up next to even though she knew that it wasn't supposed to be. Laying there in his arms, nothing had ever felt so good to her in the past three years, if she dug even deeper, she realized that nothing had felt this good since he had left her in Sunnydale. She pulled herself closer to him, nuzzling her head against his shoulder, breathing in his soft, clean scent.

As she began to fall asleep, she began to remember a conversation she once had with Willow about Angel many years ago, when their relationship was at a standstill and she was trying to figure out just how she truly felt about him. However, everything that she had said about him then, still seemed to ring true today.

"_I was just thinking about things… " she responded to Willow's question, she wasn't being the best of friends at that particular moment, her mind seemed to be elsewhere._

"_So we are taking about a guy?"_

_She almost laughed, "Not exactly a guy. For us to have a conversation about a guy there would have to be a guy for us to have a conversation about. Was that a sentence?"_

_Willow looked at her knowingly, "You lack a guy."_

"_I do. Which is fine with me most of the time… But..." Her voice trailed as her thoughts turned to Angel. As much as she hated to admit it, she was finding herself becoming more and more infatuated with him, even though she barely knew who he was._

"_What about Angel?" Willow questioned._

"_Angel?" She almost laughed, even though she knew that Willow knew that she was just trying to brush it off. "I could just see him in a relationship. Hi honey you are in grave danger. See you next month!" Who was she trying to fool? Of course she could see herself in a relationship with him, she was just angry that he never seemed to be around, unless he was lurking in the shadows, protecting her from whatever might be coming around the corner. _

"_He's not around much. It's true." She knew Willow had the best of intentions, trying to allow her to believe that what she was trying to convince herself about Angel was true. _

_It was hopeless though, She couldn't keep trying to convince herself that her feelings for him weren't there. Especially when her feelings for him were stronger than they had ever been with any other guy. "When he is around… It's like the lights dim everywhere else. You know how it's like that with some guys?"_

She still felt that way about him. It seemed like when they were together the rest of the world seemed to disappear. It was this feeling that made her the most concerned of all. How could it be that after such a long time apart that those feelings could still be that strong? And what seemed even more unfair in her eyes was the fact that even though these feelings existed she wouldn't be able to act on them. How could she? She knew that in the end they couldn't be together if he remained a Vampire because they couldn't give each other, rather he couldn't give her the life that she knew she wanted. Being with him was great, there was no denying that, but at the same time she had to be calm, be rational about the situation, starting something up with him would only lead down the road of heart break and she had been through that once and wasn't sure she could do that again.

Nevertheless, she couldn't refute the fact that every time she looked into his eyes she felt like everything else was disappearing around her. She felt like she was the only woman in the world when he held her close. Moreover, when he had rocked her back to sleep, she felt as though only he could keep her secure and safe. But most importantly, whenever his hands touched her, it felt as though electricity was shooting off his hands and into her body. His cool hands always seemed to know exactly where to touch her to make her insides do flips, it was pure ecstasy that was so addicting. She never wanted him to stop touching her once he started.

She rested her hand on his chest as she closed her eyes again. She felt relaxed in his arms. It was as though all the problems that had been going through her mind, which had caused so many sleepless nights the past year had ceased to exist anymore. She found sleep again as she softly stroked his chest through the shirt that he wore and she swore that tomorrow she would not let her emotions get in the way of getting the work done. She also promised herself that she would stop reminiscing about the past because it was probably the only reason why she continued to feel this way, she had to stop thinking about him romantically and think of him as only a friend.

His eyes flickered open as he felt her fingers softly rubbing his chest. He glanced down trying to make as little movement as possible as to not allow her to know that he was indeed awake. She was beautiful he decided, even when she slept, even when the weight of the world seemed to be crashing down on her, she still seemed to radiate innocence and purity. He hated that he couldn't push his feelings for her aside, he hated that someone could touch him, touch his soul as deeply as she did, especially when a relationship with her was forbidden. He wanted her to have the world, to have everything that she ever desired and he couldn't give her that. As he had told her before, she disserved someone who could take her into the light, who could see her and be with her at all times during the day. She disserved someone who could make love to her as he so badly wanted to but could not unless he wanted to become Angelus again. She disserved a normal life, with a normal lover, with children… They were all things that he knew he could never give her and because of that, he knew that he could not be with her, regardless of how much it would hurt him to see her with someone else.

He tried hard not to think about it. The thought of her touching another man, or another man touching her almost sent him into a blind rage. Right now he just wanted to savor the fact that she was there, in his arms, snuggling up closer to him because she wanted too. He was acutely aware that this was probably the last time that this would ever happen, unless by some divine miracle The Powers that Be decided to restore his humanity in the next, oh say, month. He was also aware that she would be out of his life again soon, once they find the Immortal and kill him once and for all there would be no need for her to stick around, if she did he knew that it would only be all the more painful for her, for the both of them.

He felt her fall back asleep; her fingers stopped their stroking and instead lay limp on his chest. He sighed and shut his eyes. It would be another night for him that he would have to carry in his memories because after this was over it was all that he would have of her again. He knew that morning was quickly approaching and there was so much work to be done. Softly, he rested his head on top of hers and allowed himself to fall asleep with her in his arms, wishing that his life could have been different.

"What the bloody hell is going on in here?" A British voice demanded, rousing the two from their slumber. The clock read ten am, they had over slept, and there stood a very angry Spike as he watched the two untangle themselves from each other's embrace.

**A/N: I hope that you have enjoyed this new chapter! I have, unfortunately, some bad news. This is going to be a pretty crazy week for me as it is the last week of University, which means I have a Kafta novel to finish reading, and two papers to write. On top of that I am trying to figure out what classes I am going to take next year when I return back to my college in the States. I really want to try and write at least two more chapters before Thursday but I can't promise anything. I hope that you are enjoying reading this story as much as I am enjoying writing it! As always please continue to leave feedback! It only makes me want to write more when I see that people are reading and enjoying it! Look for another update tomorrow because I'm going to try my hardest to get one done!  
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	10. Chapter 10

Chapter Ten

Spike had been in the office since eight and Angel still had not shown up. It wasn't like him to be late to work, especially when he said he had matters of grave importance to discuss. 'Stupid Ponce probably forgot all about it.' Spike told himself as he stood up from his desk and decided to see what was keeping his partner from showing himself at the office. He pressed the button on the elevator which would take him to Angels room, and waited patiently for the doors to open.

It seemed like hours before he finally got to Angels room, the door was surprisingly unlocked and it made him wonder if he was 'occupied' but he figured it would be a good laugh if he could walk in on him and some chick in the buff, even if he couldn't sleep with the girl, he could still find comfort with her. It had been a while since Angel had been fun, since Buffy had died the stupid Pouf had done nothing much mope around in his tears. He was useless to the company lately but after he returned from wherever it was that he went, he seemed to be in better spirits.

He opened the door and made his way into the bedroom, preparing himself for whatever it was that he was going to see. Although when he got there, he definitely wasn't ready to see his ex- girlfriend in her ex-boyfriends arms. He stood there and watched them for a few minutes, still confused as to how she was even there, she had died after all. Then he began to recall that Angel's mood had picked up since his escapade, the wanker must have known she was alive after all and didn't want him to know, what else could have accounted for the better mood and now the late morning. He grew angry, Angel had no right to keep this from him, and he was entitled to know Buffy was alive just as much as he was, maybe more as he was the last to be with her.

"What the bloody hell is going on in here?" He demanded, watching as they woke up. He saw Angel spring up first, unsure of his surroundings and then glance from him to the clock. Spike could feel the anger inside of him brewing, although he had moved on thinking she was dead, the fact that she had kept herself hidden from him but chose to reveal herself to Angel stung. He heard Angel groan.

"Well? What's going on?"

"Spike it's nothing really." Angel responded looking at him as seriously as he could.

Who was he trying to fool? Spike knew very well that it was more than nothing, that Buffy in Angel's arms meant that the world was coming to an end or something because those two just don't get together for anything, especially after everything that they had been through. What angered him the most was that the two had made a promise to each other to move on, to forget her. Although he should have known all along that this was coming, he spent nights watching Angel drink because of Buffy's death, it shouldn't have surprised him that at the first sign of her being alive that he would go after her and steal her away.

"You never were a good liar, you poncey arse." His eyes moved to Buffy, 'God she was beautiful' he said to himself trying hard not to keep staring at her. She was always beautiful, even in the morning. It made him miss feeling her against himself, being with her, kissing her lips. "I demand to know what is going on here."

"Spike really it's nothing." Buffy said, sitting up in the bed. To Spike's satisfaction he watched as she got out of the bed and made her way over towards him, wrapping her arms around his neck and hugging him. "It's been a long time." She said against his neck.

He still couldn't believe that she was here, that her arms were around him, embracing him. Angel shot him a look that told him to back off and he shot him smirk, a little friendly competition over a girl never harmed anyone. He gained a little pleasure watching Angel snarl at him, and at the fact that she hadn't even said anything to him since he had woken the two up. 'Maybe things are looking good for me after all,' he told himself as she pulled away to look at him.

"It has been a long time pet. How is this possible?" Buffy turned and looked at Angel first. He wasn't sure what she was asking him, did she want time alone with Spike because if she did there was no way in hell he was going to let that happen, he had done a lot of stupid things in life but there was no way he was going to let Spike work his 'magic' on Buffy again, especially after he had waited so long for her to come back into his life and now that he had this chance he wasn't going to let her go without a fight.

"Giles had been tracking me and he got to me just in time. I was lucky, if he had been only a few minutes later there is absolutely no way that I could be standing here right now. Angel came to see Giles and he only found out last night that I was alive. I came to ask for help, I need to kill the Immortal before he goes and kills more people. I thought that he was good, I so desperately wanted to believe it but in the end he was using me to get to the two of you. When he didn't get you, he thought that I would be the next best thing, I mean I guess he had planned to try and kill me all along but I was just really the bait that he said he loved. Giles has been trying to find him but our resources are limited. I know that Angel has so many more at his disposal and with your past with the Immortal I thought that he, you, the two of you, might be able to help me because I can't do this alone." Angel watched her intensely, worried that she might start to cry again but this time she was able to maintain her composure.

"Why Angel? Why didn't you come to me first?" Spike asked, it was obvious that he was hurt, she could hear it in his voice.

"Angel and I… Our past is different. I can't make you understand it. But last night nothing happened," She turned to look at Angel standing on the other side of the room, his face showing the signs of anguish that always seemed to appear when talk about the two of them came up in conversation or thought. "Nothing can happen. I needed a place to stay and Angel offered me his room. When I had a nightmare he woke me up and I asked him to stay with me so he did. It was nothing more. I'm only here to solve this problem and then I'm leaving. I have other places I need to go and people that I need to protect. I need to go take a shower and get dressed, we can talk about this later." She said and turned away and made her way to the bathroom leaving Angel and Spike standing there.

"You really are a selfish sod you know that, you bloody wanker." Spike spat angrily at Angel.

"You know what Billy Idol, I'd shut up if I were you. I had her first and I'll have her last. You were something she had to fill the void until she was ready for me again. Besides you only wanted her because you couldn't have her."

"I had her more than you, you stupid ponce." Spike responded. They realized that this wasn't the first time that this had been said in conversation between them.

_It was just after the amulet that Angel had given Buffy before Sunnydale had collapsed back into the Hell dimension was retrieved and Spike came back to life. Angel had been telling Fred that the amulet was something that he had given Buffy to use before fighting when Spike began to question about Buffy's whereabouts. _

"_Buffy! Is she..?" Spike questioned. _

"_She is okay." He responded._

"_Where… Where is she?" _

"_Europe, last I heard from her." _

"_Wanna see her… I wanna talk to her." Spike stated, watching the look on Angel's face turn._

"_That's gonna be tough." _

"_You can't keep her from me!" He shouted._

"_She's not mine to keep… Our yours!"_

"_Says you! You have no idea what we had!" Spike retorted._

"_You never had her." Angel could feel his jealously building, he didn't want to hear about Spikes relationship with the only woman that he had ever truly loved._

"_More than you…"_

They sighed and looked at each other. They couldn't work together if they were always going to be fighting over who she wanted more. It wasn't up to them, they couldn't tell her who to be with, it was possible that she didn't even want to be with either of them anymore. What really mattered was fighting the Immortal and making sure that she stayed safe. It meant that they would have to put their feelings about her away, or at least make the other think that they had, and work as a team.

"Alright forehead, we'll figure it out later." Spike said, turned, and walked out the door, "But don't even think that I'm going to let her go without a fight."

"It's not going to be much of a fight Peroxide. Just accept it. She and I were meant to be together and it kills you to know that. Why do you think that she came to me? She told me last night never to leave her." He watched as Spike walked away, waving his hand in the air to dismiss what he was saying. "Just thought you should know what you are getting yourself into mate. You're over her already, you should just keep it that way before you start trying to get her back. Don't put yourself through this when you know that it's only going to hurt you in the end." Angel watched him leave the room hoping that his words reached him and he understood just how complicated his relationship with Buffy was.

Spike knew that when it came to the end that Buffy would choose Angel, he had known it from the beginning, even told them that it would be like that years ago…

"_You're not friends. You'll never be friends. You'll be in love until it kills you both. You'll fight, and you'll shag, and you'll hate each other until it makes you quiver, but you'll never be friends. Love isn't brains, children, it's blood… Blood screaming inside of you until it works its will."_

He knew that he should let her go, that he should let Angel have her because in the end she would choose him, it was the way it was meant to be, but he also knew that Buffy cared about him too and he sure as hell still cared about her. It would be stupid to just give up, what if he did have a chance, even if it was just a tiny one, he wouldn't be able to live with himself if he didn't at least try. He'd spent years trying to become a team with Angel and even if Buffy tore that down for a bit, in the end it would work out it was supposed to, that he knew for a fact.

**A/N: Okay I'm addicted and I hate doing school work, especially at the end of term when all I want is summer break and for papers and finals to cease! Anyways here is a new chapter. There might be another tomorrow if I finish the Kafta novel (halfway through!). Please continue leaving feedback because I love to know what you all think.  
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	11. Chapter 11

Chapter Eleven

Buffy walked to the bathroom hearing the two men bickering at each other. They were never going to grow up. But she anticipated that this would happen, she just had hoped Spike wouldn't have walked in on them sleeping with each other, in the literal sense of the word, although if it had been possible, she might have found herself doing more than just sleeping with him. She had suppressed her feelings for him for so long that it was almost unbearable being that close to him. She still wasn't sure what she was going to do with Spike, how she was going to make him understand that in the end she wasn't here looking for a relationship with either of them.

Walking into the bathroom she looked around at its spacious size, it wasn't until she was completely undressed that she realized she had left her clothes in the other room. She sighed and went to open the door but could still here them arguing with each other. Figuring Angel would be gone by the time she stepped out of the shower, she would just resort to getting her clean clothes a little bit later.

The cool water felt good against her hot skin. Angel had failed to turn the air conditioning on, after all it wasn't as though he could really feel the heat as she did. She leaned her head back under the water, letting it fall down her body and comfort her. Last night had been exactly what she had been looking for, exactly what she had needed for the past year. Falling asleep there, with him holding her sent her into the best sleep that she had been able to achieve in such a long time.

As she started to clean up she allowed memories of the past with Angel to return to her. One in particular stood out, because it was on that night, their relationship changed.

_The paused on the docks, and Angel set the box down before turning to face her. This wasn't how the night was suppose to go, it was her birthday, they were supposed to be having fun, dancing, laughing. It was just another telling sign of how not normal her life really was._

"_I have something for you, for your birthday. I was going to give it to you earlier but…" He voice trailed as he took the small ring from the leather pouch. She looked at it, and then looked up at him as he held it out towards her, his other hand holding her hand._

"_It's beautiful."_

"_My people, before I was changed they exchanged this as a sign of devotion. It's a Claddagh ring." She looked at it closer as he began to point out what the symbols on the ring stood for. "The hands represent friendship, the crown represents loyalty and the heart… Well you know… Wear it with the heart pointing towards you. It means you belong to somebody." He held his hand up over his chest and showed her his. ". Like this." _

_She realized that this was probably the most romantic thing anyone had ever done for her. Leaning towards him she kissed his hand and looked up at him, she could see the love in his eyes and it filled her up, having to watch him leave for however long he was going to be gone was going to be unbearable, even though she knew he would be back, or he would at least try to come back. _

"_Put it on." He said softly, as she held her hand out towards him and he slipped it on._

"_I don't want to do this." She said, referring to him leaving. The present was beautiful, he was beautiful, this wasn't how she wanted the night to go, she wanted to spend it with him._

"_Me either."_

"_So don't go…" She begged, his arms wrapping around her waist and pulling her closer to him. He shook his head and lifted her chin towards him before leaning down and softly kissing her lips. _

"_Buffy I…"_

She realized that as she was standing under the water, her hand was playing with the finger that had once worn the ring. Although she never wore it anymore she did still have it, but it was too painful to even see it so she had locked it away in a box. She turned off the water and pulled one of the towels off the rack, wrapping it around her body before stepping out.

After drying herself off, she wrapped the towel tightly around her body, gathered up the clothes that were strewn across the floor from the previous day and made her way out into the main room where her suitcase was standing. She had noticed that the two of them had ceased their bickering and had figured that they had both gone to the office so she was startled when she saw Angel sitting on the bed, his eyes following her making her cheeks blush a bright shade of crimson.

"I'm uh… I'm sorry." Angel stuttered, not able to take his eyes off her, even though he knew it made her uncomfortable. He stood up and walked to the other side of the room to avoid eye contact. He ran this fingers through his hair trying to figure out what to say next, she always seemed to render him speechless when there were important matters to be discussed. "I'm sorry for that, and for this morning. We behaved, well, I behaved like a petulant child and it was wrong of me to do that to you. It's hard for me to realize that there was time when we weren't together and you were with someone else and knowing that, kills me." He turned to face her, noticing that she was clad in only jeans and a bra. "I can't lay claim to you. I left you alone. And I think that I had hoped that you would never have gotten over me but that's crazy because it's the reason that I left."

She pulled a shirt over her head and looked at him. "I'm not here for a romantic relationship Angel. I'm not going to deny that last night felt really good. But I'm not going to say that I don't have feelings for Spike anymore either. I love you both and this is confusing for me too. To see you both here, working together, that makes me so happy that you were able to get over your differences and use your strengths for the common good and I don't want to be the person that messes that up. I still love you Angel, I know you know that, but I can't let myself get involved with you."

He looked to the ground. He knew that what she was saying was the inevitable and it was the truth. Them together just wasn't going to work out.

"That doesn't mean we can't be friends. I want us to be friends. I want us all to be friends, you, me, Spike. We need to be friends, we need to be able to work together and not have romantic entanglements with each other. So you need to get use to seeing me with Spike just as much as he needs to get use to seeing me with you. You are both so special to me, I hope that you know that." She was trying so hard to convince herself that she wasn't in love with him anymore that it sounded absurd in her mind. All she really wanted to do was run over to him and jump in his arms, kissing him like she had imagined so many times since he had come to visit Giles.

He watched her and she was terrified that he could read her mind. He walked closer, until he was close enough that he was able to reach out and touch her arm. His cool hand felt like butter against her skin and he looked down into her own eyes. For a minute, she forgot to breathe. Her heart told her to kiss him, to let nature take its course but her brain told her to stay away because heartbreak was the only potential outcome.

"Will you at least still stay here? With me? So that I can make sure that you are okay?" She could hear the anguish in his voice and he reached down and pushed some of her blonde hair off her face. She felt as though she was rendered speechless, she wanted to open her mouth but words just weren't able to come out. His tenderness was exactly what she needed, what she was longing for. His hand still lingered on her face and she leaned into it, nodding her head as she watched the smile appear on his lips.

He was about to lean down to kiss her forehead when her brain kicked back into gear and she took a step backwards. "I should go downstairs. Get to work. I'm sure Spike can show me around so I can get my footing."

He watched as she walked out the door on her way to the office and he sat down on the bed trying to figure out what was going on. She would tell him one thing but then act in a completely different way and her behavior was confusing him. He just wished that he knew what was going on in her head, in her heart so that he could try to protect himself from the repercussions of her being around. It wasn't only her who would be hurt, but he was going to get hurt as well and he had a very keen sense that Spike wasn't going to come out of this all that happy either.

_Meanwhile_

Spike paced around his office. He was trying to figure out what he was going to do to win Buffy back, or if that was even possible for him. He thought that he had gotten over him, it wasn't like he was acting like Angel, that little ninny who had been impossible to work with for the past year, brooding and in a foul mood. Now, seeing her, having her so close to him sent him into what felt like another dimension. All the past that he had bottled up to try to rid himself of seemed to float to the surface.

"Hey Spike." Buffy said as she walked into his office and he turned to look at her. Without thinking, he marched straight up to her, wrapped his arms around her waist and kissed her with all the passion that he could muster. To his surprise she didn't push away and after a few moments he released her to find Angel standing in the doorway watching the whole ordeal with his fists clenched.

"Hey peaches." Spike grinned and Buffy turned around, caught off guard and surprised. She stood to the side trying to figure out what to say, what she could do to make this look better, it wasn't as though she kissed him, he took her by surprise.

"I suggest you run." Angel said looking at Spike. However, Spike didn't move and Angel advanced, ready to punch the smirk off Spikes skinny face.

Quickly, Buffy moved herself between the two men, holding Angel back by pushing on his chest. "Don't do this." She told him, trying to catch his eye to reassure him that nothing was meant by the kiss on her end, how could it when he was all that she ever thought about anymore. Nevertheless, it didn't work, Angel kept moving and before she knew it, his fist went straight for Spike's jaw.

**A/N: Okay I'm hoping to keep writing this week but if not this might be the last chapter until Wednesday or Thursday. Leave feedback and let me know what you think!  
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	12. Chapter 12

Chapter Twelve

Angel left the room a few minutes after Buffy had exited. There was no use continuing to dwell on the subject, it would work out, as it was suppose to. He knew it was difficult for her, and it was wrong of him to put her in the position to choose between him and Spike but she had to know it was only because he still cared so deeply for her. So long as Spike didn't try to move in on her, he too would keep his word and they would all work together as friends. There were larger issues at stake than Buffy's heart, even though that seemed impossible.

He figured he would stop by Spikes office to discuss the problem rationally however, when he arrived he saw Buffy in his arms, failing to take notice that her arms were not wrapped around his neck but rather hanging by her side. It didn't matter, seeing that, it sent him into an unsighted fury. Instinctually, he clenched his hands into a fist and his jaw tightened, he could feel himself starting to vamp out, but he tried hard to contain it.

When they pulled away Spike looked up and noticed him standing here, and all Angel could think about was wiping that smarmy grin that was now plastered on his boney face. He told him to run and started to advance, hoping that Spike would at least make it a challenge but he just stood there, with the damn grin, tempting him to come closer, and it was working. He felt Buffy's hands on his chest, trying hard to push him back but his strength was out of control, his rage was out of control. Before he knew it his fist made contact on Spikes jaw, and he watched as he fell backward while he shook the pain from his fist.

As Spike was about to retaliate and throw a few punches back at him, he heard Buffy yelling at them.

"Cut this out you two! How old are you? Five?" She yelled at them as they struggled to get away from each other and separate to listen to what she had to say. They bowed their heads feeling ashamed. "I don't know how many times I have to tell you but I'm not here to have a relationship with either of you, I'm here to get a job done and if you both can't work together then I am out of here and I'll find someone else who can help me. Besides if I was here for a relationship, this would have repulsed me. I'm not some object to win, something for you to fight for, I'm a human being, not a toy. So start treating me with some respect and start treating each other with respect or I really will pull this and leave."

"I hear what you are saying love. It wasn't me who threw the punch." Spike said defensively.

"That's true it wasn't you who threw the punch but can you honestly say you didn't disserve it?" Spike hung his head again and Angel smiled telling himself, 'Ha! She is sticking up for me.' "As for you mister, don't go feeling all contented thinking that I'm sticking up for you. Your behavior is just as bad. Get over your jealousy! Honestly Angel did you see me going to blows with Cordellia when I found out about you two?" A look of surprise came over his face at the mention of Cordy's name. "That's right, I knew. How do you think I was keeping track of the two of you, how do you think I knew that you were working together and that things were going well? So stop acting like you are the innocent party in all of this." She looked at them, this time before speaking she calmed the tone in her voice. "I'm leaving and when I get back you two better have worked this out, otherwise I'm leaving for good." She turned to go when Angel spoke up.

"Where are you going?"

"I'll be outside, in the day where you both can't come to find me. I need to figure out if this was all just a terrible mistake, coming here and asking for your help." They watched as she walked out of the office and into the elevator.

"Nice punch mate." Spike said sitting down in his desk chair, rubbing the spot where Angel's fist had made contact with his jaw.

"Sorry about that. I don't know what came over me." Angel replied, falling into the seat on the other side of the desk, his hand still stung from the punch.

"Don't you lie to me! You know damn bloody well what came over you." Spike stated before sighing, "I should have expected that reaction. It's not as if I didn't know this was coming. As much as I've always wanted to believe that what I had with her was more than what you had, I can't deny that you two belong together. I can't deny that my relationship with her can't even come close to touching what you two had. Although, I have to say mate, you did a fine job at breaking her. She is truly one messed up female." He threw in the last line for spite.

"Thanks for that." He responded, looking at the desk trying to figure out what he could do to make her understand that he didn't mean to act the way he did but when it came to her, when it came to her he acted like an animal, and animal who didn't want anything else to touch his property. No, she wasn't property, and no he didn't have a claim on her but at the same time it didn't want anyone else to have her. "We need to figure this out. We need to be able to work together, and work with her otherwise she will leave and I can't stand to lose her again. We need to keep her here to keep her safe, which means working together, without the jealousy thing."

"I'll back off Angel, but if she shows any interest in me, romantically, I can't pretend that it didn't happen. You aren't the only one who loves her, I just think she has always loved you more. Hence the reason I know when to back down. So, are we agreed? We work together, we do not pursue our romantic interests, and we let her choose who she wants if she wants us?"

"Agreed." Angel replied, holding his hand out for Spike to shake.

"Now that that matter is settled, what information do you have about the Immortals whereabouts? I rather feel like killing the bastard even more than ever now."

_Meanwhile…_

Buffy got into the car and drove to the Coffee Bean on Sunset Boulevard. She needed to get away from the drama the two men were creating back at the office. She had had enough of their bickering, their jealousy and wanted them to get over it, she needed to know that they would be able to work together so that way when the time came, they could fight the Immortal safely, without the chance of death. Working together was the only option and that meant that they all put away any personal feelings that they might have towards each other, herself included, and just push through the task until it was over.

When she had got her iced coffee, she sat down at one of the tables outside and just admired the surroundings. It was great to be back in society again, to see people all around her. It was as though she had been in prison, in solitary confinement and was finally being allowed back into the world. She knew it was still dangerous being out, especially alone, even if it was during the day, the Immortal had henchmen all over the world, possibly making sure that she was dead after all. She took a sip of her drink and closed her eyes, the warm sun beating down on her face. She missed her carefree life, before the was the Slayer. She missed spending her summers laying on the beach, getting a tan. Growing up wasn't all it was cracked up to be.

She wasn't sure how she was going to deal with this situation back at the office. She was really just hoping that they could work it out between themselves and to have everything run smoothly from here on out. That was a great dream she knew. There was no way she could deny her feelings for Angel but she was afraid that in going to him she was going to hurt Spike. Well, she knew that she was going to end up hurting Spike eventually, but she had a feeling that he knew this all along, that was why he made the one final attempt at winning her over, that kiss. It wasn't that it wasn't nice, and it wasn't that she didn't feel anything when he kissed her, of course she did, she still had feelings for him, she still loved him, but when he touched her, she didn't feel the electricity that she felt every time Angel's hand touched her skin.

Then there was the fact that Angel had a relationship with Cordy. What bothered her wasn't so much that he was with someone else. That would have been hypocritical, it wasn't as though she had stayed celibate, it was more that he wanted to hide it from her. The look on his face when she mentioned her name, it was as though he hoped that she had never found out about it. It was obvious that Cordy meant something to him, otherwise that look wouldn't have shown, she just wished that he could be as calm about her prior relationships as she was being about his. Cordy was never her favorite person, so in a way it was almost as though she was the equivalent of Spike to Angel, well minus the whole trying to kill people thing, and Cordy really did grow up at the end and become someone who Buffy never thought she would ever be… But then again, Spike made many surprising changes as well.

It didn't matter though, what mattered was the next few weeks that were approaching, they really had to buckle down and get to work and she had to work hard not to let her feelings for Angel stand in the way. The two of them had to have a serious talk and determine how they were going to work through this because it was more obvious than ever how difficult it was to be so close to someone but not be able to have them. She knew, or rather, for the first time she began to understand why Angel had to leave all those years ago, it wasn't only for him, it was for her too.

Resolving to have a talk with Angel later that night, she stood up and threw the remainder of her drink in the trash bin. The sun was starting to set and they were probably beginning to wonder where she had gone off to so it was about time that she head back and deal with the problems that seemed to be holding them back from getting the task done. She rolled the window down in the car, turned the music up and tried to block out any more thoughts that might come to her mind, the last thing she needed were more problems to cause her to worry.

**A/N: My papers are definitely going to suffer but I can't stop writing this story! I hope that you are enjoying reading this as much as I am writing it! Leave me reviews! They make me write faster!  
**


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter Thirteen

Thirty minutes later, she pulled into the parking lot, there were still quite a lot of cars around so she figured that they must have their employees working overtime trying to locate the Immortals whereabouts. It was the one thing that she loved them for, they were always so dependable, and they would both stop at nothing to make sure that she was safe. She had had enough of working with them for the day however, and opted out of seeing what kind of progress they had been making. Instead she made her way up to Angel's room, hoping that he had left it unlocked as her belongings were still there and she had agreed to stay in his room so he could be there if she needed him. She felt different being there this time than she had when she left, it appeared that they had worked out their problems and she was feeling hopeful that tomorrow they would be able to get serious work done.

When she reached the door, she did in fact find that he had left it unlocked, there was a note taped to the door with her name on it in his familiar handwriting and she pulled it off and made her way into the room. She pulled her sunglasses off the top of her head, let them rest on the coffee table, and then took a seat on the plush couch. After flipping her sandals off, she brought her feet up on the couch, curled them under her legs, and opened the letter that was addressed to her.

_Dear Buffy,_

_I figured that after our behavior this afternoon you wouldn't want to come back to the office. This is just a precautionary note, so if you have happened to stop by, disregard this as you would have heard everything that I'm about to write about. We have had some good leads and believe that the Immortal might just be in London, so it might be a late night before we call it quits. However, this troubles me because I had hoped that we would have time to talk because there are a few things though that I want to talk to you about. Although please don't wait up for me if you are tired because I would rather we discuss this in a clear mind. I don't want you to be tired, I want us to be rational. If you do happen to fall asleep, I will be right there beside you when you wake up, making sure that you are safe._

_Yours, _

_Angel_

She smiled as she put the letter down and picked up the remote to the television that hung on the wall. The room was still warm so before turning on the television and relaxing for a bit, she first got up and turned the air conditioner on so she would be comfortable. Quickly she rummaged through her suitcase and pulled out a tank top and a pair of boxer shorts and slipped them on. She was finally comfortable enough, and made her way about to the couch and lay down, propping her head up with a few pillows.

Turning on the TV she flipped through a few stations before finally settling on some show called "How I Met Your Mother." She didn't deny that most television now days was pretty mindless but that was exactly what she needed, a little brain numbing before her conversation with Angel. She found herself drifting between consciousness, every now and then paying attention to what the screen was showing and every now and then slipping into memories of the past. For some reason her memories went to the night that he had gotten her into the skating rink so she could skate again, she had told him how passionate she had been about it and he wanted her to do something she enjoyed again, that was until they were attacked by a bounty hunter and he helped her kill him.

"_The Hellmouth presents: Dead Guys on Ice. Not exactly the evening we were aiming for." She said trying to lighten the mood, and ease the trouble that she knew his mind had resorted to._

"_You're in danger. Do you know what that ring means?" _

"_I just killed a Super Bowl champ?" She continued trying to make a joke." It didn't seem to be working._

"_I'm serious! You should go home and wait until you hear from me. Are you okay?" His concern was always for her safety first, he seemed to always disregard what might have been ailing him until he knew that she was okay._

"_What about you? That cut!" She said trying to touch his face, still not noticing that he had vamped out._

"_Forget about me. This is bad, Buffy. We have to get you out of here!"_

"_What do you mean? Hide?" She could hear the deep concern in his voice and knew that he was serious._

"_Let's just get you someplace safe!"_

"_No! Your eye! Hey! Don't be a baby! I'm not going to hurt you!" She said trying to touch his face as he kept turning his head to the side, not wanting her to see him in the state that he was._

"_It's not that I.." _

"_What?"_

"_You shouldn't have to touch me when I'm like this." It was only then that she realized that he was morphed into his other face, his vampire face._

"_Oh… I didn't even notice." She responded and pulled his face closer to hers so she could kiss him._

She didn't even hear the door open and was startled when she felt a hand on her shoulder, pulling her out of her memory and back into the present. The coolness of his hand sent a shiver down her spine and she turned to see him standing there.

"What are you watching?" He asked as she sat up, making room for him on the couch.

"What? Oh…" She turned to look at the screen and noticed that some other show had taken the others place. "I have no idea. I kind of spaced out."

He sat down next to her and watched her for a moment. She wasn't sure exactly what he was going to say, it was difficult to read his face, she wasn't sure if he was angry or happy. The fact that he wasn't saying anything didn't help and it only confused her more, she just wanted to shake him out of whatever it was that was keeping him quiet so that she didn't feel so self-conscious sitting there, afraid that she had done something wrong.

"This sounds so feeble knowing that this is the second time today that I have apologized for my behavior." She was about to speak up but he put his hand up to silence her. "Don't say anything yet, I have some things that I need to get out before you start talking, and if you start, I'll lose my nerve. I shouldn't have reacted to what I saw this afternoon in the manner that I did. That was wrong. I should have trusted you, I should have known after spending all that time talking about how you weren't here for a relationship that you had nothing to do with that kiss. Spike admitted to it, he even said that you didn't kiss him back. I let my temper get the better of me, I can't help it because when it comes to you, I feel like I'm out of control. I don't mean that in a bad way, it's just that I don't want anyone else touching you, holding you, kissing you. I want that person to be me even though I know it can't be. It has nothing to do with wanting you because I can't have you, I want you because of the way that you make me feel, you make me feel like I'm alive. I was wrong to not tell you about Cordy. I admit to that, but I only did it because in the end it didn't matter. She didn't matter. No one could matter like you did, you do."

She smiled, he had never been this open about his feelings with her. He allowed himself to move beyond his usual stoic self, and express to her just exactly how he was feeling. She was relieved to know that everything that she felt for him, he still felt for her, she just wasn't sure how they were going to make it work this time around. She continued to look at him, searching for the right words to say to him to make him understand that she felt the same way but was torn as to if a relationship was the best thing for them to get into. After thinking for a few minutes she finally broke the silence.

"I was thinking a lot today. Today was one of those perfect days for thinking outside. If I had more time I would have gone to the beach but I sat at the Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf on Sunset Boulevard and thought about the different things going on in my life and how I was going to fix them, or at least make them work. I was hurt that you didn't tell me about Cordy, but I also realized that even though she must have meant something to you, it wasn't something that impeded our relationship. I knew that you still cared about me, she even told me that you did, but you were able to get comfort from her and that is a good thing, it would have been hypocritical of me to call you out on that, it wasn't as though I didn't date when we weren't together. I just wished that you had been honest with me about it, and told me instead of hiding it." She took a breath, watching him nod his head in understanding and then reached for his hand. "I still love you Angel. I thought that that above all things was obvious. I'm just not sure if we should act on our impulses right now. We left each other for a reason and I'm afraid that if we go back to each other, if we start up a relationship again that we are going to end up hurting each other again and I'm not sure that I can go back to that. It doesn't change the fact that if things were different, if we could be together, that I would be there, in your arms in an instant, I'm just afraid of getting hurt again and having to spend years trying to pick up the pieces again."

"I know that what you are saying is the truth but I can't help but think I'm never going to get the chance to give you everything you disserve and that kills me because all I want is to give you the life that you should have. Unfortunately, in my head it is on my terms, meaning us having a life together, us getting married, having kids. All of that, I want with you and I can't have it and it kills me." She moved closer to him, her hand touching his face.

"You don't know what the future is going to bring. I want all those things too, but I only want them if I can have them with you. I'm not in any rush, I'm still pretty young, I have a lot of time ahead of me. I can wait for you. I'm not even sure if I'm ready for that kind of commitment, I'm still trying to figure out what I am doing."

"Can we? For now, for the next few weeks, just try it out? See how it feels? I know that I'm the one who always does the pushing away but it was the worst decision that I ever made and I want to try and make it better, I want to see what would have happened if I hadn't left you. I was wrong in making that decision, especially making it without you." His mind thought not only to the decision to leave her in Sunnydale but also the decision to return to his Vampire state after he had become human again for a day, even though she couldn't remember it.

"I know, now more than ever, that you made the right choice walking away. Even though it killed me, kills me today, I know that you leaving was the honest, right thing to do. I'm willing to…" She paused trying to find the right word. "I'm willing to date, in the most normal way that we can, but I can't let this get serious right now Angel. Not until after this business with the Immortal is finished. I'm not whole right now and I can't rely on you to fill the void that has been building since he almost killed me. I do need a friend, and I like having friends that I can cuddle up to at night, maybe even kiss occasionally. If we can promise to try and keep this mellow, I'm willing to see where it leads to later on."

It wasn't the exact answer that he was looking for, but he knew that she still loved him and the fact that she was willing to let him back into her life, even if it was in a more casual relationship way, it was worth it to him. He needed to prove that he was worth her love, he needed to prove that not only to her but also to himself. He leaned down and cupped her face in his hand, bringing it closer to his own, allowing his lips to softly brush against hers.

At that moment, the door to the room was kicked open and a loud voice bellowed through the room, breaking their kiss before it even had the chance to start.

"You're going to die once and for all slayer."

**A/N: Okay, I know I've been saying this all along but I might have to end on this note for a few days so I can write my paper. I've just gotten horribly addicted to writing this and now that I've determined how I want it to end I really want to get to that point but alas, my course work must come before my fun work. I hope that this helped those who were afraid that I might turn it into a Buffy/Spike story realize that this is indeed a Buffy/Angel story. There will probably be less angst from here on out and hopefully more action. As always I hope that you are enjoying reading this story and the more reviews I get the happier I am to post more frequently.  
**


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter Fourteen.

The day seemed almost unreal to Angel. Granted it had its ups and it defiantly had its downs but in the end, he was able to get exactly what he wanted, her. It seemed as though for the first time in a long while things were finally starting to look up for him, that maybe his fate was about to change, then again, he couldn't allow himself to hope too much, he knew that he only had so much time left to become human before Buffy would give up on him. Not that she said that, he just knew that there were things in life that she wanted and he knew that unless he could be human there was no way that he could ever give her those things. He had to find out what he could do, if it came down to it, with Spike around, it almost made him want to seek out the Mohra demon again. He shook his head, it was foolish he knew but he was worried that he couldn't go on much longer without her now that she was back in his life.

Hearing her say that she loved him though, it was as though he was being given another chance at life. Although she seemed to agree with his prior decision to leave her, he felt that it was a mistake and her agreeing to give him another chance, even if it was in the terms of a casual relationship, he thought that it would have to do, he would use that to make her see that they belonged together. She kept talking but all he could think about was her, sitting right there, her hand in his, her other hand softly stroking his cold cheek. Her hand sent tingles into his skin, it was an power unlike any other. He had been with many women over his two hundred plus years of life but not a single one of them were able to touch him like Buffy. He sat there memorizing the curves of her face as if he was afraid that he would never see them again, the honey color of her hair and the way it danced around her face when she moved. He drowned himself in the emerald green pools that were her eyes, and he fantasized about kissing her soft pink lips. She entranced him, nothing else in the world seemed to matter and all outside noises diminished.

The last thing that he heard her say was that she was willing to give them a try, it was at that moment that he cupped her face with his hands, the anticipation of kissing her since she had walked into his office the previous day made him eager. As she moved her face closer to his, he watched as she closed her eyes and softly he let their lips touch. Just as he was about to deepen the kiss, to allow all his pent up passion be released, the door to the room flew open and a large voice filled the room causing them to scramble from each other's arms and onto their feet.

They looked and saw a rather statuesque vampire, his red hair his only defining feature. He was easily over six feet tall and he seemed strong enough to take at least one of them. It was then that he realized after Buffy was threatened that she must have been spotted when she had gone out earlier in the day to get away from the drama that both he and Spike had created. He was angry with himself, if only he hadn't behaved in the manner that he had this wouldn't have happened, they could be making out on that couch but now they have to defeat this big guy. He was angry, and it was all his fault.

"Buffy, on the other side of the couch, under that table, throw me one and keep one for yourself." He pointed to the end table that was on the other end, underneath was a bowl filled with a few spikes that he had laying around in case of an emergency, and this seemed to be an emergency. He began to worry if she was ready for this, it was after all the first time that she was going to be in a battle since she had stood up to the Immortal and almost died. He watched as she reached down and pulled two spikes out, tossing one which he caught and keeping the other close to her body.

"The Immortal is going to be so unhappy that you are still alive." The vampire said walking slowly towards her. Angel had had enough and jumped onto the other side. He wasn't going to drag this out any longer. "Oh I see you have your knight in shining armor to help you this time?" He kept heckling her, the fight wasn't supposed to be Angel's, it was hers.

"Tell Morty that he is going to rot in hell when I'm finished with him." She said, skillfully jumping over the couch before kicking the vampire in the stomach causing him to double over. "For a big guy, you sure don't handle pain too well." He stood back up and looked at her, fire in his eyes, ready to attack.

Before he had the chance to advance Angel punched him in the face, causing him to change direction. But only for a minute as Buffy was right behind him, using her leg to push him back allowing Angel to catch him and secure his arms. "Then again, if you were to tell Morty that would mean I would have to let you go. Being that you've tried to kill my friend here and myself, I don't think that's going to happen. Have fun in hell." She said just before pushing the stake into his heart and watching him turn to dust.

"Well that was fun." She said. "It sure has been a long time since I've been able to do that. Big red didn't put up much of a fight."

Angel glanced at the pile of dust that now lay at his feet. "I guess I'll have to clean that up now." He walked to the closet and pulled a vacuum out and quickly ran it over the spot a few times until it had all been picked up. "You did great there, much better than I had imagined since you have been out of the game for such a long time. Was he a friend of yours?"

"Well. I'm the slayer. I might not have been able to kick ass for a year or so but it's kind of like riding a bike. As for him, he must be one of Morty's… I mean the Immortals henchmen. He has so many of them. I'm assuming he works for Lucius, who is one of the Immortals right hand men."

"You are okay though right?" He asked, his hands resting on her shoulders looking at her face, making sure that she wasn't cut. She smiled at him.

"I'm perfectly fine. Thank you." She responded, reaching her hand up and touching his face that had still not morphed back into its human form yet.

He turned away. "You must be hungry. Let me draw you a bath, I'll order you something to eat, and then I'll make sure that there isn't anyone else in the building and let Spike know what just happened."

'I could get use to this,' she thought. "That sounds amazing but let me go with you to make sure that it is safe."

"Absolutely not. You should rest, let me deal with this." He took her hand and led her to the bathroom where he sat at the edge of the tub and turned the water on, testing the heat before putting the plug down and filling it with soap. He watched as she pulled her hair up and then moved closer to him. "What can I get you to eat? Anything in particular?" She shook her head and sat down on his lap, almost causing him to lose his balance and fall in.

They sat there as the tub filled up with water and bubbles, she rested her head on his shoulder and he softly rubbed her back. She couldn't remember a time in which he had been this gentle, this sweet and caring. He was always amazing but during their time apart he seemed to grow. He was so much more attentive, it was as though he was doing all he could in his power to show just how much he cared about her and she had never felt more loved by another in her life.

"I think it's good now." He said kissing her forehead as she stood up and he turned off the water. He stood up and grabbed a clean towel from under the sink and put it by the side of the tub. Then he took her in his arms and looked down at her, kissing her cheek but refusing to kiss her lips. "We'll pick up where we started later, right now I want you to relax, I'll get you some food and then I'll go and let Spike know what's going on. I'll be back soon, I promise."

"Okay." She responded as he left the room, closing the door behind him so she could have her privacy.

He was concerned about her, he wanted to make sure that she was okay and more importantly, he had to make sure she was okay. He took it on himself to be her protector and if he failed her, he would never forgive himself. He took notice to see if anything was going on in the hall and surrounding areas before he ordered her a pizza, but everything appeared to be back to normal. Walking back into the room he picked up the phone and dialed the number for a local pizza place that would deliver.

He gently tapped on the door and opened it to see her lying in the tub, her head leaning back as she enjoyed the relaxation. She looked so cute and he would have done anything to get in there next to her but he knew better. That kind of behavior would only lead down a path that they couldn't cross when he was in the state that he was in.

"Sorry to disrupt you." He said softly as she lifted her head up and opened her eyes, looking right at him. "Is there any kind of pizza in particular that you want? Or should I just get something simple."

"Simple sounds great." She said smiling as he nodded and closed the door again.

He ordered the pizza and made his way to Spikes room. He knocked and a few minutes later, he appeared at the door.

"Hey can we talk?" Spike didn't reply, he stood to the side and allowed Angel to walk in.

"What's up mate?" Spike asked sitting down on the couch.

"So, when Buffy went out today someone must have tracked her because we were just attacked in my room thirty minutes ago. I checked the building and it's quiet, no one is here but I think the Immortal knows that she is alive. That means we have to work a little harder to keep her safe now. I was hoping that since it was day when she went out she would have been okay but he must have been somewhere nearby or got a tip from someone who might have seen her at another point in time. Either way we need to kick up security around here."

"Sounds good, I couldn't agree more. I'll keep my line free so if you need me at any point just give me a ring, I'll be right over." Spike replied. "She's okay though right? It would have been the first fight since she was in hiding. Nothing happened?" Angel could hear the concern in Spike's voice.

"No she is fine. She actually seemed quite happy to be fighting again. I'll let you know if I sense any changes." Angel said and stood up.

"Well thanks for stopping by and letting me know. I'll keep a look out for a bit to make sure everything is okay."

"Thanks Spike." Angel responded and left the room, closing the door behind him. He checked the floors a few more times, grabbed the pizza when it arrived and went back to the room.

Opening the door, he saw Buffy sitting on the couch. She had changed her clothes, and he noticed that she had stolen one of his tee shirts. He smiled and walked over to where she was sitting, putting the pizza on the coffee table and watching her as she reached forward and grabbed a slice, devouring it in only a few minutes.

"It looks good on you." He said, still not able to take his eyes off her. She crooked her head, looked down making sure she hadn't spilled anything on herself and furrowed her brow confused at what he was getting at. "My shirt, it looks good on you."

"Thanks. Mine was a mess and you had so many of them. I didn't think you'd mind." She responded before moving closer to him as he put his arm around her shoulder. "Plus it smells like you." He smiled and kissed her head, enjoying the feeling of her in his arms. Once she had finished eating she moved over, sitting in his lap and looking up at him.

"What?" He responded, pushing her hair off her face.

"Are we going to finish what we started earlier?" She questioned with a big smile.

"You bet." He responded, wrapping his arms around her tightly as he felt her hand on the back of his neck, bringing his face closer to hers. He closed his eyes and their lips found each other's. In that instant, it felt as though time had not passed and they were the same couple they had been so many years before. The kiss was everything that he had always remembered it to be. With one hand he rubbed her back as he kissed her deeper, feeling her responding to his touch. He had almost forgotten how wonderful it was with her, and he made a note in his mind to never forget this moment. He had dreamt about it for so long and he couldn't have imagined it any better. He felt as if she was finally his again, and that in itself allowed him to relax, and show her with his lips, just how happy he was and how much he cared for her.

**A/N: So I'm trying to delegate my time which is why I was able to write this chapter. I do this when I'm to sick of reading what I need to read for my essay. Anyways I hope you have enjoyed this chapter. I'm noticing that I keep wanting to write longer ones so I hope that you are okay with that. I know it's not the best chapter I've written but I was dying for them to finally kiss. I'll be posting quite frequently though out the week. I have one more paper to write about Michel Foucault but then I'm done for a little while minus a week that I'll be spending in Greece but I'll let you know. **

**Thank you to everyone who has been leaving feedback! I truly appreciate what you have to say and value your comments. Please continue to leave feedback and please feel free to tell me what you think you might want to see in the story. If it works I might just use your idea! So for those who are leaving feedback please continue! I love reading your comments! And like always, the more feedback I receive, the happier I am to post more frequently!**


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter Fifteen

Rolling over to the other side of the bed, hoping eventually to touch Angel, Buffy awoke to find herself all alone. She sat up, pushing the heavy covers off her body and glanced at the clock, groaning softly as she noticed that it read 12:25. She hadn't intended to sleep this late, in fact, she was slightly perturbed that Angel had failed to wake her when he went to work. It wasn't as though he had received much sleep either so they would have been in the same boat. The last thing she wanted was them doing all the work when it came to locating the Immortal, especially after the previous night's affairs. She lay back down and closed her eyes, it wasn't as though a few more minutes of rest was going to cause any harm, and in her head, she allowed herself to remember the events of the night.

"_We should get some sleep." She said as they broke their kiss so she could come up for air. He played with her hair lightly as he watched her, his smile still visible on the face she had so often remembered as having an aura of brooding. Her heart fluttered in her chest as his hand moved from her hair to her back and down her legs, softly touching every inch of her body. _

"_I know. I just don't want today to end. I'm afraid I'm going to wake up to find you only an illusion." He responded with sincerity. She laid her hand across his cheek, her thumb grazing over his lips as their eyes met._

"_I'm not going anywhere." She responded, leaning in closer and resuming where they had left off._

She woke again slowly to the feeling of her hair being swept off her face and the bed shaking slightly. Opening her eyes she saw Angel as he situated himself near her, his left hand softly stroking her cheek, rousing her from her sleep for the final time.

"Good afternoon sleepyhead." He said smiling as he tangled his fingers through her hair, watching as she smiled back at him.

"I told you I'd still be here when you woke up." She replied, moved closer and gave him a soft kiss on the lips. "Why didn't you wake me up?"

"You looked so peaceful and I knew that you didn't get much sleep so I wanted you to rest." He responded and then laid his head down on her chest, his arm tightening around her. He could hear the steady beating of her heart and he closed his eyes, wishing that he could have one that did that as well. He was lulled into a peaceful state by the rhythm created by her heartbeat and the gentle feeling of her hands running through his hair. They laid there, like that for a while, just finding peace with each other before they decided that they needed to get up.

"I have something I need to tell you." Angel said as he watched her rummage through her suitcase, pulling out a simple pair of jeans and a black tank top. She looked at him, a certain look of panic showed across her face. "It's nothing bad, well. I've been in touch with Giles and he found some evidence that supports our findings. The Immortal is hiding out in London. We aren't sure exactly how long he's been there or how much longer he is planning on staying so advancing on the position soon is critical but I don't want to push you if you aren't ready for this."

"I'm ready. Don't worry about me." She said pulling her top over her head and then walking over towards him. "I need to see what you've found. I need to see who I'm up against."

"Who we're up against." He corrected her, he needed to show her that she wasn't in this alone, that they were going to help her every single step of the way. "Giles is heading down here, depending on traffic he should get in around five. But I'll show you what we have." He took her hand and they walked toward the elevator.

Spike was sitting in the conference room flipping through the different books and papers on the Immortal. It was true that they had met, but his weaknesses were still unsure, no one knew exactly what made him tick. Moreover, since he wasn't thought to be malevolent until recently they seemed to be running into a wall. The clue to controlling him lay somewhere in the papers he just had to read between the lines, after all, everyone had their own Achilles heel. His train of thought was interrupted as he watched Angel and Buffy enter the room, hand in hand. He tried hard to ignore it; this was more important right now.

"So what have you got?" Buffy asked as she walked closer, looking down at the maps and papers. They had really done a lot of work in such a short amount of time. "Wow, didn't expect you to rummage up this much in such a short amount of time."

"We've had a lot of guys on this." Spike responded and pointed at the map. "He was last seen near Park Lane, something about doing work with some wealthy business men. It explains the proximity to the Dorchester. Anyways, the poof was spotted with these two guys." Spike pointed to a few sketches. "Do you recognize them?"

"That one is defiantly Lucius." She said pointing to a sketch that showed a rather hefty vampire, dark hair and green eyes. "The other might be new. I've never seen him before." Angel moved behind her, resting his hand on the small of her back as he looked over her shoulder at the sketch.

"Doesn't seem like much of a threat." Angel commented.

"He isn't. It's the people he usually has working for him that are. It's probably the only reason he's stayed dead for so long."

"Right well, Giles should be here fairly soon. He said he came across a message that was intercepted." Angel said but all he could think about was kissing her again.

"I'm going to leave you two at it then." Spike retorted as he picked up one of the books and left the room. Buffy watched him leave as a feeling of quilt hit her stomach. She could tell that he was uncomfortable with the situation but at the same time she was finally content and she didn't want to give up what she had just found to suit him. Angel watched the frown appear on her face.

"Are you okay?" He asked, pushing her hair back and tilting her chin up so she would look at him.

"I just didn't expect this to be so hard."

"Find the Immortal?"

"No, I mean. I knew that would be hard. I meant coming back, putting both of you in this situation, putting me in this situation. I'm so happy but seeing him so upset. It hurts. I feel as though we are rubbing it in his face somehow."

"Spikes a big boy. Just give him a few weeks, we'll find some girl for him to go around with. It's just the shock of having you here." She nodded and sat down on the table as Angel pushed himself through her legs, his hands grabbing her waist as he leaned down and kissed her. She wrapped his arms around his neck, softly tugging on the back of his hair causing him to let out a small groan and pull away.

"If we keep at it like this I think we are heading down a dangerous road." He said putting distance between the two of them. In his head he cursed himself for allowing his passions to rage as they had been, he had just been so happy to have her back and all of this desire he had tried to subdue seemed only to elevate to an unbearable point.

Giles walked through the door however, and saved them from making a terrible mistake.

"Hello Buffy. Angel." He said, a look of concern seemed to inhabit his face. Buffy jumped off the table and hugged him. "Do you mind? If I speak to Angel alone first?" He asked when she pulled away.

"Is there something wrong?"

"I just need to ask his opinion about something."

"Buffy we'll meet you up in my room when we are done. Here." He said as he gave her the keys to his room.

"I'd really feel…"

"Buffy please don't argue this one." Angel pleaded.

"Alright." She responded as she left, closing the door behind her.

"What did you find?" Angel asked and Giles took a seat and pulled out the paper.

"It seems that there was a rather old prophecy that we failed to find." Angel took the paper from Giles and started to scan over it. "The Immortal is supposed to battle a slayer, or I assume it's a slayer, they call the person a great warrior, but if it is a slayer, it doesn't give a generation so it might not even be her, but one will live and one will die. He had this, he knew all along. So it makes me wonder if he was only keeping her close so that he wouldn't have to try as hard to kill her."

"But Buffy has disproved prophecies before, and this one we aren't even sure is about her." Angel said.

"True, but those were extraordinary circumstances. I don't know what to expect from this."

"Then, I fight alongside of her. I won't let anything happen to her. I can't let anything happen to her." Angel was angry. He knew that everything seemed to good to be true. How is it that once you finally get something that you have always wanted, the circumstances always made it so that it wasn't actually yours, it was just dangling in front of you to torture you even more. "We can't tell her. I don't want her to know. She should go into this thinking that it's just a normal fight. She isn't strong enough to do this knowing that she could, hypothetically, unless I have something to say about it, die."

"I don't think that's the right thing to do… Hiding things from her have always turned out to be the wrong decision."

"I don't care. I won't let her go into this thinking that she is going to die. I can't."

"She won't be happy… If she finds out Angel…"

"She won't find out." He retorted, slamming the book closed. "Let's go."

**A/N: Thank you for all the positive feedback from Chapter 14! I hope this new chapter is up to par! I wrote it a little faster than usual but I didn't want to keep you hanging! Thanks to all you who are reading and leaving comments. I have one more paper to go but as I spent all last night writing it I'm taking a break over the next few days so expect more frequent updates if I get enough comments to know people are continuing to read!  
**


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter Sixteen

"_I'm not going anywhere." She said moving closer to him, her arms wrapping around his neck as she pulled him closer. He smile just as their lips touched._

Angel walked through the hall trying to figure out why things always seemed to go like this for him, the moment he seemed to get what he wanted, something, some higher power, decided to take it away from him. This was the first time he was going to be damn sure that nothing took Buffy away from him again, he had waited too long for this moment to happen and he wasn't going to let anything take that away, not even if it cost him his life trying to protect it. He spent some time figuring things out with Giles in the room that he had made up for him. There were logistics to plan, when were they going to leave, how would they know for sure where the Immortal was hiding. They were so close but it seemed like there was still so much more work to be done.

He thought it would be best to tell Spike what Giles had found, at least that would give him another strong force to fight with. Although they weren't getting along spectacularly these days he knew that Spike would have his back when it came to protecting Buffy. He knocked on the door but there wasn't an answer. Racking his memory, he didn't recall Spike telling him that he was going to go out, but now he was unsure. He knocked again, maybe he was in the bathroom or something, but still, no one came to open the door. Giving up and resolving to find him later, Angel made his way back to his room where he knew Buffy would be waiting. Buffy. He couldn't help but smile every time that he thought about her.

Opening the door he hadn't expected to see Spike and Buffy sitting on the couch. They were close and seemed to be discussing something but why did it have to be behind closed doors? He could feel the jealousy building, they hadn't even looked over when he opened the door. Clenching his fists and tightening his jaw he walked closer, waiting for his presence to be acknowledged. It wasn't until he was right next to the couch that Buffy jumped and both she and Spike looked up from the books that were resting in their laps.

"What's going on? I went to your room Spike and you weren't there. I had business to discuss." Angel spoke slowly, trying to remain calm as he saw how close their legs were. 'Spike could have pulled anything on her during the hour that I wasn't here,' he told himself, 'He's practically throwing himself at her.'

"Sorry beefcake, Buffy came knocking when you exiled her to the room and asked me to fill her in on what we have found. I am allowed to let her know what is going on right?" Angel didn't like the tone Spike had spoken in, it was condescending and he didn't even know what he was talking about, he just wanted to get on Buffy's good side, try and show her how much of a jerk he was.

"No. I'm glad that you are showing her what we have found. She should be informed."

"Funny, you didn't seem to think that I disserved to be informed when Giles showed up. So I thought I'd get a second opinion." Her words were harsh but he disserved them, even he knew that. However, he was struggling with the decision to tell her. The books didn't say that it was her per say and getting her worried over something that might not be didn't seem logical. Nevertheless, if it was about her, she did disserve to know, that way they could find a way to protect her, to allow her to defy the prophecy as she had time and time before.

"Buffy I…" He couldn't say anything, he was defeated. He just needed another opinion and that opinion was from the vamp that she was sitting next to, looking pretty damn comfortable with, if he dare say so.

"I… I? What is it Angel? You can't do this to me! Why can't you ever just be honest? Tell me what is going on in that head of yours? I'm not sixteen anymore if you haven't noticed. I've been through hell, and yet, you still can't seem to tell me the important stuff."

"The important stuff? The important stuff is that I love you and if I feel that not telling you something is better for your safety I'm not going to tell you something." 'Damn it, I said too much' he told himself after he spat his words at her.

"Ah ha! So you admit that you aren't telling me something. Angel if it has to do with me, with my life, with your life, with Spikes life, I am allowed to know. I disserve to know! Hiding the truth from me isn't going to help, I'm safer off knowing exactly what I'm up against before I go into battle. You of all people should know that! You've been there with me through some pretty difficult battles, and Spike too. Why can't you both be honest with me?" She was upset, not particularly angry like he had imagined but he could tell that she was hurt that he wouldn't tell her the truth. He just wasn't sure how to.

"Love, I promise you that I am in the dark just as much as you are." Spike said, putting his hand on her shoulder and rubbing it. Angel glared at him but Spike just smiled.

"I need to speak with you Spike."

"What and leave her here all alone? I don't think so." Spike responded.

"Why can you tell Spike but you can't tell me?" Buffy questioned.

"It's complicated Buffy. I want to tell you but not here. Not when you are this upset, I want to tell you alone." It seemed to appease her. "But right now I really need to talk to Spike. So Spike, if you don't mind taking your disgusting hands off of her, I need to speak to you in your room."

"Then who will stay with Buffy then?" Spike said, not moving, his hand still rubbing her shoulders.

"I will!" a voice said as they turned to the opened door where Willow stood.

"Willow! What are you doing here?" Buffy shouted, jumping up from the couch as Spikes hand fell from his shoulder and Angel smiled, satisfied that Spike was no longer touching her.

"Giles called. He told me the whole story and said that you might be in need of back up so here I am. Are you okay?" Willow moved closer to her and the two embraced for the first time in so many years.

"Yea, I'm. I'm confused as to what is going on, but I'm doing okay. How are you?" The two sat down on the couch and Angel looked over at Spike.

"Let's go Spike. I need to talk to you." Spike reluctantly stood up, pausing first to put a comforting hand on Buffy's shoulder. She looked up briefly and smiled at him and he smiled back, feeling assured that she was okay. Angel continued to glare at him, he had promised to back off and it seemed like he was doing only the opposite of that. Together the two men exited the room leaving Willow and Buffy to talk about what had been going on for the past year.

They opened the door to Spikes room and Angel shoved him in, causing Spike to turn back and furrow his brow.

"What's your problem gumpypants? Didn't get enough sleep last night?"

"You know damn well what my problem is Spike. You said you were going to back off and I leave her alone for a few minutes and you are trying to move in!" Angel could feel his body start to tense up.

"A few minutes! Try an hour and a half! She came looking for me, she wanted to talk to me. Maybe you should pay more attention to your sweetie-bear. Maybe should wouldn't come looking for me then!" Spike retorted watching Angel snarl at him. "Besides, what could be so important that you don't want her to know. God Angel, she isn't a kid. She's a big girl who can handle the truth. Most of the time."

"If you hadn't been off canoodling with her maybe you would know what is going on! I tried to find you but apparently I can't trust you as you seem to have fallen back on your word to me."

"Whoa there big boy. I never fell back on my word. I said that if there was any chance that she shows interest in me then I would be there because even if it was the tiniest chance I wasn't going to pass it up. So when she showed up at my room, angry with you for not telling her what was going on, sorry mate, couldn't pass up the opportunity to show her who was the better man."

"Why you little…" Angel lunged at Spike who was blocked in by the couch, grabbing him by the shoulder and raising his fist to punch him again. This time however, Spike had been prepared, raising his leg up and kneeing Angel in the groin causing him to double over in pain.

"What is going on in here?" A distinct British voice demanded as the two men turned and saw Giles standing at the door, watching the ordeal. "You two aren't vying for Buffy's affections at this critical moment are you?"

The bowed their heads as Giles reprimanded them for their inappropriate behavior. "I can't believe you two. Buffy might potentially be in danger and all you can think about is who is going to bed her? Not that you can Angel."

"Giles is right. That's what I came here to talk to you about to begin with." Angel said, turning to look at Spike who looked at him quizzically. "Giles intercepted a message that was going to the Immortal. Some prophecy that says a great warrior, who we are assuming is a slayer, will face off against the Immortal and one will die. The frustrating part is that with all the research that Giles has done, it doesn't say if it's a slayer, or who will die. And, if it is a slayer it doesn't give a generation."

"So this is what you won't tell her? That she might die? Angel she disserves to know. Moreover, if you don't tell her then I will. You can't send her into this without her knowing what she is getting into."

"As much as it pains me to say it Angel, Spike is right. This is too serious to hide from her. I know that you two will do everything in your power to protect her but she can't even start to defy the prophecy unless she knows what she is up against. We've tried to hide these things from her before but she was younger then. She's not a child anymore. She needs to know."

"I know. I'm going to tell her tonight. I just don't know how yet." Angel responded, the pain obvious in his voice, afraid to lose her once and for all.

**A/N: New Chapter! I hope that you enjoyed it! If I get enough feedback before I go to sleep tonight I'll post up another this evening. As I'm in London for all you in the States (Pacific time as I still keep California time so I can call home) it would probably be around 6pm. Let me know what you think! **

**Just some people I would like to thank for their constant support via reviews!  
**

**SWChica2005, Angel-Buffy17, David Fishwick, Charli92 thank you for your constant support! Can't wait to see what you all think about the new chapter!**


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter Seventeen

Angel sat in the hall, leaning his head against the back of his door. There were so many things going on in his head that he wasn't sure how he could sort through them. He knew that he had to tell her but it was easier said than done. He held the paper that Giles had given him. He looked at it. The Italian was not difficult to translate, he had learned the language a great many years ago but due to its language, he determined that this prophecy was not as old as so many of the others that they had seen.

_Un guerriero grande combatterà contro il vampire illusive, Il Immortal. La lotta non sarà giusta e le idee sbagliate presenteranno dando la potenza d'una leva al victor. Alla fine, uno vivrà ed uno deve morire._

"A great warrior will battle against the illusive vampire, The Immortal. The fight will not be fair and misconceptions will arise giving leverage to the victor. In the end, one will live, and one must die." He translated. It was no use, this was so completely ambiguous that either way, be that the Immortal or themselves, the outcome was still completely up in the air.

He stood up, put the paper in his pocket and opened the door to his room. Buffy and Willow were still deep in conversation on the couch but he had to talk to her, even though he knew she was upset with him. He had to tell her, she disserved to know, as much as it killed him to admit it. Willow looked up at him but Buffy did not turn around, it stung a bit, even more so when he came closer and put his hand on her shoulder, which she proceeded to shrug off.

"Angel! It's great to see you again." Willow said, breaking the silence that now seemed to penetrate the room.

"Same to you Willow." He hugged her and when they pulled away, he looked down at her. "Might I be able to steal Buffy away from you for a little while? I need to talk to her. You are welcome to stay here and I can put you up in a room if you like, there are more than enough here."

"What if I don't want to talk to you?" Buffy spat, finally standing up and looking at him, her petulance bringing fire into her eyes.

"Buffy don't…" He pleaded.

"Don't what? Don't act like a child? Well I might as well if that's how you all are going to treat me around here. I may not be over 200 years old Angel but I'm not a child." Apparently, the hurt had become angry and and she was, without a doubt, angry with him.

"Why do you think I want to talk to you?" He moved closer to her letting his hand softly touch her arm. She didn't move but continued to meet his gaze, her eyes softening with each moment that passed. "Come with me." He whispered.

She turned to face Willow. "Do you mind if we step out for a bit?"

Willow smiled, "Of course not. It seems important. Go." She assured her friend as Buffy hugged her and turned and walked out the door with Angel.

"Where are we going?" She asked as he took her hand, tangling her fingers with his own, leading her out of the building and to his car.

"Out. We need to get away from this building. Some time away from the distractions and drama that is happening." He said starting the car and pulling out of the parking space, heading to god only knew where.

Thirty minutes later they arrived at a beach, it was dark but the moon illuminated it enough that they could see the rocks, sand and water. Getting out of the car, Buffy looked around. The beach seemed so familiar, and that was when it hit her.

_The sun was setting and she stood there, the wind blowing through her hair, making the skirt of her dress flutter about her legs. She felt arms wrap around her and looking to her side, he stood there, watching the sun set in the distance. _

"_How did you find me here?" She asked, her heart filling up in her chest as his head touched hers._

"_If I was blind, I would see you." He responded, his arms touching her waist as the last remaining rays of sunlight caught the honey color in his hair._

"_Stay with me." _

"_Forever. That's the whole point. I'll never leave. Not even if you kill me."_

"I've been here." She stammered, and she watched the smile play on his lips. She knew he assumed that it was because she was familiar with Los Angeles, he never knew about the dream.

"I would have expected that, you did live here."

"No, in a dream. After I killed you. I was here, and you found me. You were alive." She rambled, wishing that she could forget that. It was a point in her past that she wished she could forget, it was pretty much the lowest of the lows and she felt that whatever he was going to say to her wasn't something that she wanted to hear after all. "We were here."

He could see the look of pain on her face as he scooped her up in his arms. "It was only a dream. No sense in letting it upset you."

"This isn't going to be an uplifting conversation is it?" She asked, her face buried in his chest.

He rested his chin on the top of her head. "I'm afraid not." He pulled away from her, they walked onto the sand, and he laid out the blanket that he had brought.

"I've struggled with how to tell you this, if I should tell you this… And I don't want to, and I don't really know how but I know that I have to." He said sitting down and opening his legs so she could sit between them and rest against his chest. He wrapped his arms around her to keep her warm and let his chin lay on her shoulder.

"Then maybe I don't want to know anymore."

"You really are indecisive aren't you? You get mad at me for not telling you and now you don't want to know." He teased her, trying to lighten the mood.

"I wouldn't have been as mad if you told me just like that."

"I have to tell you. You can't go into this without knowing what might happen in the end." He held her tighter, with his mind he was trying to block out the conversation and instead just remember being there, with her.

"Alright. Give it to me."

"Giles came across a prophecy. It's not as old as a lot of the others, but it still doesn't discredit it."

"What does it say?"

"In Italian: Un guerriero grande combatterà contro il vampire illusive, Il Immortal. La lotta non sarà giusta e le idee sbagliate presenteranno dando la potenza d'una leva al victor. Alla fine, uno vivrà ed uno deve morire."

"And in English?" She questioned, leaning her head against his, trying not to think about what he might have to say but instead savor this time alone.

"A great warrior will battle against the illusive vampire, The Immortal. The fight will not be fair and misconceptions will arise giving leverage to the victor. In the end, one will live, and one must die." He responded, "But I promise you, I'm not going to let anything happen to you. I can't let anything happen to you. I love you too much to lose you again. You've defied prophecies before, besides it might not even be about you."

"I came to terms with my own mortality about a year ago Angel. Whatever happens is going to happen. I can't say that I want to die, because I don't but if it does happen… I guess that's the way its suppose to be." She turned her head and faced his as their forehead touched.

"No. You can't go into this thinking that you are going to die. This is exactly why I didn't want to tell you. Nothing is going to happen to you, Spike and I will make sure of it."

"I just… I don't want to talk about it anymore. Can't we just enjoy this, just in case it's the last time?" He looked up and kissed her, wiping the tears that seemed to escape from her eyes.

This was why he didn't want to tell her. He couldn't bear the thought that she was going to go into battle and think that she was going to die. He had to convince her otherwise. He had to find some proof that this wasn't about her, or that she was on the victorious side of things. He could feel her shivering in his arms and he took his coat off, wrapping it around her shoulders and holding her tightly against him. They sat there for some time, looking out over the water, listening to the sound of the waves crashing against the shore, each wondering to themselves, if this was going to be the last time that the two of them would be able to spend time together, away from everyone else, alone.

**A/N: As promised. Two chapters in one day! I've got the next chapter almost ready as well so look for it soon! I've been on a roll lately because I am loving where this is going! Hope you are enjoying it as much as I am! Please continue to leave reviews. The gang will be heading off to find the Immortal in Europe very, very soon!**


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter Eighteen

They sat like that for a few hours. To keep warm, Buffy nestled herself against Angel's chest, looking up at him and stealing a few kisses every now and then. It was blissful, exactly as she would have wanted their last actual night alone to be. She knew that she would continue staying with him at the hotel and whatnot but here, they were together without the problems that faced them in that building, completely and totally alone. She wasn't all that surprised to hear about the prophecy, she almost expected it, things seemed to be going almost too well for her, something that never happened in her life. That's why when Angel told her about it, it broke her heart, but this time, at least, if she died she wouldn't have to face the terrible reality of what it would have felt like to have to leave him voluntarily.

She closed her eyes, breathing in the salty sea air, trying to memorize this moment. His hand was softly stroking her arm and with each gentle brush with his fingertips her skin felt as though it was being set on fire. She was alive with pent up desire, but a desire that she couldn't act upon. She allowed her head to fall back and as she did she nuzzled her nose against his neck, breathing in his clean, spicy scent. No man had ever smelled so good to her.

"Tired?" He asked, his voice breaking the silence that had fallen between them after their discussion.

"I don't know. I'm just…" Her voice trailed off as she lifted her head and looked towards the horizon.

"Scared? Worried? I know what you mean. I promise Buffy…"

"I'm scared that this is the last time we are going to be together, really be together. I'm angry that for the first time I finally seem to get what I want and it's being taken away from me. I'm upset that you take on the burden of protecting me when you shouldn't have to. I'm worried about all the time I've missed with everyone this past year because they thought I died and now, if I do die, they have to go through that all over again. I'm sad because this feels so good, being here with you and knowing that this could be the last time… It makes me regret every decision we ever made, you ever made, about our relationship."

"Buffy you're not in this alone."

"Shh. I'm not done yet." She took a breath and paused for a moment. "Seeing Willow, having her tell me how hard it was. How terrible it felt to lose a friend, a good friend. Now, now, I'm afraid that I'm going to have to put them through that again. As happy as I am to see her, to be here with you, to see Spike, I don't want to put you all through that again. I'm ashamed that I don't feel strong enough to battle this and I'm scared of what is going to happen when I do. It takes a lot for me to say that but for some reason, being here, with you, it makes me terrified to think of all the time I've missed and of what I'm going to miss with you." Tears had started forming in her eyes and she blinked hard to keep them in. She felt vulnerable and weak since she had heard of the prophecy but at the same time, she knew that she couldn't run from it. She had to finish what they had started, even if the cost was her life.

"Don't worry about all that. We will have plenty of time. I'm not going to let anything happen to you. We aren't going to let anything happen to you. Spike and I are doing everything that we can to make sure that we have the advantage going into this. I promise you that you will come out of this alive." He said, using his thumb to softly dry the tear that had escaped.

"Then promise me that you will be okay too. Promise me that Spike will come out of this." She looked at him but he looked down. "You can't. And I couldn't bear to live if you died trying to save me."

"I love you. Let's just leave it at that tonight." He said, turning to face to look at him before leaning down and kissing her softly. "Come on. Let's get back and get you to sleep. We can figure this all out in the morning. It's late." He stood up and helped her up before grabbing the blanket and then wrapping an arm around her waist, keeping her close to him.

_Meanwhile…_

"We have to leave tomorrow at the latest." Willow said, flipping through the books that lay before her. Giles looked up from his stack.

"Did we find anything that takes note of the Immortals weakness?" Giles questioned.

"Sex? Threesomes? Seemed to enjoy what he did with Darla and Drusilla all those years ago. Hey maybe he'll be into the whole two guys one girl thing and then I, because let's face it, Angel's a bit of a poof and probably wouldn't mind the extra, how can I say it, sausage? Well then I can come out from behind and stake him in the heart, effectively putting an end to his immortal life and sending him back where he belongs." Spike responded.

"You sure seemed to have put a lot of thought into that one." Willow retorted after laughing a bit.

"This is not a joking matter. Have any of the books mentioned the Immortal?" Giles repeated, shooting Spike and Willow a 'let's get serious' look.

"This book has been useless. It says nothing about him." She responded, tossing it aside and picking up another. Spike shrugged.

"It's been a bloody waste of time going through these books. Let's just go to London, and take it from there. Maybe we can pay off one of his minions to help us."

"We have resources true, but not ones of big enough worth to pay off his helpers." Buffy interjected as she and Angel walked through the door, his hand holding hers. The table turned to look at them. "We would have to promise them that they would never be found out and given the 'Judas' mark. They are so terrified of him it's reminiscent of the Master."

"I'm not surprised…" Giles spoke up as he looked through the book in front of him. "This book says that he had been allies with the Master for some time before they parted ways. There was talk that the Master was his sire, but it might just be folklore. It wouldn't surprise me if he left so that he could maintain this aura of ambiguity so that murders wouldn't be linked to him. That would allow him to fly under the radar, maintain a status as a more peaceful demon."

"We keep running around in circles. I'm not sure that we can find anything that will help us. Our best chance might be to go in blind. We know at least that he can be killed with a wooden stake. I say we take it and run with it." Willow said, knowing it wasn't exactly the right thing to say but at least it was the truth. She had seen the research they had already completed and it wasn't conclusive at all, this guy, this vampire, was the epitome of mysterious.

"Just give me one more day to finish reading through these books. If I haven't come up with anything we will leave and take it from there. I just want to make sure that I've seen everything before I sent you all into this." Giles responded.

"Okay Giles. One more full day. If nothing else is found, then we get on a plane and just leave." Buffy responded leaning into Angel as he wrapped his arm around her waist.

"Willow did you need a room?" Angel questioned as she stood up.

"Spike made one up for me. Thanks Angel. Goodnight everyone." She said and walked out of the room and towards her own.

"Let's go. You need to sleep." Angel whispered into her ear, and she nodded. Turning her head towards him and kissing him.

"Must you do that in front of everyone?" Spike spat, looking down at the book in front of him to shield his eyes from witnessing the lovebirds.

"Okay well I guess I'm going to turn in. Goodnight Giles. Spike." Buffy stated and turned to walk away.

"Goodnight guys." Angel said after and took hold of her hand again, knowing now that since there might be an expiration date on this relationship, wanting to touch her, to feel her as much as he possibly could. They hear the others say goodnight as they left but it wasn't what was on their minds.

When they got to Angel's room, she undressed and put on just the shirt she had stolen from him the night before and crawled under the covers, watching him and he removed his shoes, trousers and shirt before getting in next to her. His arms wrapped around her waist and drew her closer to him, but he noticed that she was already falling asleep.

"I love you." He said, softly kissing the tip of her nose.

"Hmm. I love you." She murmured, already half asleep.

He lay there for a few minutes before closing his eyes. They would have to leave soon, meaning all this, this waiting, this wondering, it would all be over in a matter of days, and he wasn't sure he wanted this to end. He wasn't sure he could bring himself to let her get on that plane that would take them to London.

**A/N: Hey everyone! I'll be posting another chapter later in the afternoon as well if I receive some reviews. There will probably be only a few more chapters to this story but I'm thinking about working out a sequel if people are up to reading it, let me know your thoughts and I'll take them into consideration as I get closer to the end.  
**


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter Nineteen

Buffy woke up earlier this time, she glanced at the clock and saw that it read 8:30AM. His arms were still wrapped around her so she carefully wiggled out from under his embrace so to not wake him up. Quietly she walked to the bathroom and shut the door before turning the water on, letting her fingers catch the water as she felt the temperature. She stepped back, stripped off the shirt and got under the water, allowing it to calm her nerves. She just wanted to get all this over with, to see what was going to happen and to just let it happen, the wait, more than anything, was killing her.

Twenty minutes later she stepped out and wrapped the towel around her body, she could hear movement out in the room. Opening the door she saw Angel standing there, a towel wrapped around his waist. He didn't turn around when he heard her and she stood there, gazing at his back, memorizing the muscles and the tattoo that was imprinted on his right shoulder. After a few moments he turned around and smiled.

"You got up early." He said, moving closer to her.

"I hope I didn't wake you. I tried to be quiet." He reached down and touched her cheek, leaning down and softly kissing her.

"I wake up whenever you leave." He said and then walked to the bathroom, and shut the door behind him.

She quickly dressed and made her way to the offices before he had even stepped out of the shower. The more she knew about what she was about to face, and the less distractions that she had, the better off she was. Willow was sitting alone at the table and she walked over to her, taking one of the empty seats next to her.

"Good morning." Willow said. Buffy could tell she was trying to be cheerful but she knew Willow too well to let her get away with it.

"Morning. How did you sleep?"

"Don't worry about me. I'm worried about you. Giles and I both are worried about you. Something is different Buffy. Since you've been here, since you went back to Angel."

"Don't blame him. I'm the happiest I've been in a long time Will. I'm just…"

"Go on…"

"I'm worried that I'm going to have to put you all through what you've already been put through and that's not fair. I never should have come here, I never should have told anyone I was alive until after this business with the Immortal was taken care of. That way if I did die, you wouldn't have to go through this twice. I'm okay, I know I'm not immortal, I know that I might die and I've come to terms with that, I just wish that I didn't have to leave behind everything that I am this time. Last time there wasn't much, I mean obviously there were you, Xander, Giles, Dawn…"

"But now you have to leave Angel?"

"I do. And I know it shouldn't be this hard. I know that after everything that I've been through with him in the past that I shouldn't still feel this way but I do. I can't stop it. I wish that there were a way to make things better, but I know that in coming here I am upping my chances of survival in all this. But if something happens to them because of me, then I'll never forgive myself. If something happens to any of you because of me, then I can't go on living knowing that I put you in the danger that I did. No one forced me to date the Immortal, I just did. I hate that I can't make my life work with people who aren't, basically, dead. Why am I so screwed up? And here I am, throwing myself into another relationship with Angel that, if I do make it out of this, is only going to end up badly."

Willow sat there listening to Buffy. "I know that I wasn't the most supportive in the past but the more I think about it, the more I realize how, if the world were different, if circumstances were different, the two of you would be… Well, you two complement each other. And through it all, through all that you've been through together, you still seem to have this attraction, this love for each other that is impenetrable. It's love, in its purest form, but the timing is never right. It's as if you were born too late… Alternate universe and all, if things were different, if you both were normal, you have the kind of love that lasts forever, but that doesn't exist in our world. But right now, enjoy this, don't over think it. In the end, when we come out of this alive, then you can make your decision, but right now. Don't worry about it. Try not to worry about it. Focus on getting this job done, it's the most important matter right now."

Willow was always her voice of reason and she smiled and hugged her friend. "Thanks Will."

Angel had been standing by the door listening. He walked in a few minutes later, he didn't want her to know that he had been listening to their conversation. Buffy turned around and stood up, smiling as he walked in, he tried to smile back, but he knew that it wasn't the same. He knew that by trying to forge a relationship with her, he was putting them both in danger.

"What's wrong?" She asked him, looking confused as to why he wasn't as happy to see her as she was to see him.

"What? Nothing. Nothing is wrong." He replied, falling into one of the chairs on the other side of the table and reached for one of the books.

Buffy shot Willow a look but she just shrugged her shoulders, both not sure what was going on, he was fine not that long ago when she had left to come down, now he was back to his brooding self. The person that she hadn't seen since they had resolved to try and form a casual relationship with each other. She leaned back in her chair, took her foot out of her sandal and moved her foot until it was at the hem of Angel's pants. He kicked her foot away and shot her a look that she couldn't read. She couldn't understand what had come over him in the twenty minutes that they were apart.

"Is something wrong?" She asked, but he didn't look up from the book.

"No."

"Alright Mr. Sunshine. Will I'm going to go get coffee for everyone. I'll be back in a little bit." Buffy stood up, shot Angel a look and walked out of the room.

"You aren't fooling anyone Angel. What's the deal?" Willow asked after Buffy had left.

"It's nothing."

"Don't give me that. Yesterday you looked like you were on top of the world. Now…" She said looking at him as he finally looked up from the book and raised his eyebrows, testing her to finish what she was going to say. "Now you're acting like an idiot. Why are you pushing her away when you finally have her?"

"Because, by having her I'm putting her and everyone else in danger. When we fight as a couple, yea it works but it's difficult. When we fight with sexual tension that is pent up because neither of us have each other, it works better. Who am I kidding Willow? Buffy and I will never make it worse so I might as well walk away from this before either of us…"

"Oh don't you dare do this to her again. Not this close to leaving. I swear, if you break her heart again I'm going to murder you myself."

Angel sighed, "I just think that maybe we should ease up on it. She said casual, even though I pushed for more and I kept pushing thinking that she wouldn't give in, but she has and I don't want that to happen. I need it to be casual for her sake. I can live with the burden, I've proved that many times over." He paused, referring to the day he gave up the future with her that he always desired so that he could protect her. "But I can't let her get hurt. I need to be at my best and so does she and even you can't deny that when we are only wrapped up with each other, we don't fight as 

well. If I knew she was mine, if I knew that I could give her the future that she disserved, then things would be different but I'm not changing Willow, and she's getting older and sooner or later it's over for me."

"Angel, just hold off on all this, don't change anything until after this battle. If you do, she won't make it through. As her friend I can see that. If she loses you, there isn't anything else for her to have. I know her better than a lot of other people and when she's around you she is different. Give her a little credit when it comes to battling, she isn't the sixteen year old who only has her boyfriend on her brain."

Angel nodded. "Alright. Did you find anything new?"

"Nothing." Giles said, walking in the door. "I stayed up all night, I went through all the books, all the research and there isn't one thing."

"I still say threesome." Spike said walking in as Angel gave him a confused look. "You had to be there mate."

"Where did Buffy go? We should leave as soon as possible then." Giles questioned as he looked around and saw that she was no longer there.

"I'm assuming we went to Starbucks or something. She should be back in ten minutes or so." Willow responded. "Does that mean we should start packing our things up?"

"I'll get a flight out of her as soon as the sun sets." Angel said, standing up, heading towards his office.

"Oh, and Angel." Giles started to say. Angel turned and looked at him. "Never mind."

"Send Buffy up to the room when she gets here. That way we can get things packed up and get out of her as soon as possible." Angel said as he turned back around and left.

**A/N: As promised. Another chapter. I've got one other coming up soon and I'll be posting it tomorrow. That might be the last one. Depends on how much of my Michel Foucault paper I get finished. After Tuesday it will be smooth sailing until the 13th which is when I leave for Greece. **

**Thank you SWChica2005 and David Fishwick for your never ending reviews! I appreciate it and I love to know that you are continuing to read! **


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter Twenty

Angel had his back turned to the door when Buffy walked in, her coffee in tow. He turned around and looked at her, there were so many things that he wanted to say, to apologize for how he had acted earlier, to tell her that he loved her, to tell her that he would never leave her or make her doubt his love. Without thinking, he marched over to her, wrapped his arms around her waist, the coffee almost being knocked out of her hands as he leaned down, and pressed his lips against hers.

"Well that was a different attitude than this morning at the table." She commented when they pulled away. She set her coffee on the side table near the bed and looked back up at him.

"I know. It's all this pressure. The accumulation of what is going to happen in a few days. I wrongfully took it out on you. I'm sorry, I need you." His hands cupped her face as she looked up at him.

She sighed. "We have to get packing. We need to get out of here pretty soon." She pulled away from him and walked to her suitcase. With one big swing, she flung it on the bed and started to rearrange her clothes, making sure everything was there and then zipping it back up. She felt his hands on her waist. "Angel really, not now, let's not make this harder than it already is."

"What do you mean? What are you saying Buffy?" He asked, sitting down on the bed so she had to look at him. "What's going on?"

She was silent for a while; she could feel her heart beating in her chest wildly. She had had to face things that were tough before but pushing away the man she knew she was suppose to be with because she knew that it would jeopardize everything was one of the toughest things she had faced so far, pretty much right below when she had to kill him knowing that he was the man she was in love with. "I just… This is moving a lot faster than I had thought it would, and with the prophecy… I just think that maybe."

"We should back off? Are we really back here again Buffy? After all this, after I've told you that I didn't want to lose you again? "She could see the hurt in his eyes but hidden behind that she knew he understood, that he would understand. If she hadn't done it, then he would have. If it hadn't been that day, it would have been another. They took risks to protect each other and they both knew they couldn't do that this time.

"I can't have my mind muddled right now, neither can you. We both know that when we watch out for each other we forget about everything else. And if I do die, I want it to be simpler than it would be if we were together."

"Do you really think that after these past few days it's going to be any simpler?" He hung his head defeated, but all the while knowing that she was right in her choice. "I guess I understand… I just. If we make it out of this, then where do we stand? Where do I stand?"

"Let's get to that point before we start making each other promises." She moved closer to him and put her hand on his cheek forcing him to look up at her. "It doesn't change the way I feel about you, the way I've always felt about you, we just can't do this right now. I know you know that what I'm saying to you is the right thing. And I know you also know that if I didn't do this now, you would do this sooner or later as well. It's better that we handle this before it spirals more out of control than it already has. It's difficult isn't it."

"What?" He asked his eyes meeting hers, he could see the tears pooling in her emerald eyes.

"Being on the receiving end of this conversation, this would be the first time for you." A tear fell down her cheek.

"It's not easy on your end either, is it?" She sighed and ran her fingers through her hair. "Should we get going? The others are probably waiting downstairs already."

"One more thing." He said standing up. He wrapped one arm tightly around her waist, the other on the back of her head and he moved closer to her. His lips brushed against hers and then made contact, the coaxed her with his lips into kissing her back in within a few moments they were lost in each other's passionate embrace. He shut his eyes tightly, trying to memorize the feel of her under his hands and the softness of her lips against his own. He pulled away after a minute or so. "Just in case we don't get another chance at that, I wanted to imprint one in my memory."

She smiled at him. "I hope it wasn't the last time. I want to see us both come out of this alive."

"I hope so too." He said smiling back at her, it was bittersweet moment. "Let me grab your bag." He took her bag and his and left the room, locking it behind them and then made their way to the elevator.

"Is it just me or does it seem eerily silent around here?" She said, as the elevator made its way down the floors.

Angel put the bags down and pulled out a few stakes. "You should arm yourself, just in case." He said as he watched her pull out an axe from her bag and put one of his stakes in her pocket.

When the door opened they stepped out, leaving the bags in there as they looked around and saw no one. The entrance was completely empty, not a single bag in sight and everyone would have arrived twenty minutes earlier. Angel motioned for her to move behind him and she did as he led her down the main hall. They turned down a corridor that opened to a large room and there he stood, along with two others. Behind him, Giles, Willow and Spike had been tied up and appeared to be unconscious.

"Welcome! The games are just about to begin." The voice roared, filling the entire room before echoing out. "Buffy mi amore, it's so good to see you again. Thank you for bringing your men, I do love to torture them so. This should be fun."

"So are you going to stand there? Or are you going to kill me?" She said, and swung the axe in a circle to let him know that she was ready.

**A/N: The story is quickly coming to an end... Much faster than I had thought but I realized that it was going to drag if I kept going! Anyways I finished the story last night so I'll be posting the chapters at random when I've received some reviews! I hope that you are liking where it's going. I know this chapter pushes Buffy and Angel away a little but don't worry too much about that. I am trying to set it up for a sequel, if everyone wants one!**


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter Twenty-One

It only took a minute for Angel to transform, he hated being caught off guard and this, this took them by surprise. The Immortal stood back, letting his two henchmen fight first. If the thought that they were going to live, he was surely sorry about that one. Angel needed to find a way to maneuver around him and at least get Spike untied, he noticed that he had woken up from his unconscious state was struggling to get his hands free. Buffy was going to blows with the vamp on his left and the battle didn't seem that hard for her.

As one of the henchmen advanced on Angel, he put his fist up and slammed it into the other vampires face before punching up on his stomach causing him to double over. As he reached for a stake, his opponent had stood back up and shoved him to the ground, 'okay, maybe he's a little stronger than I thought.' He watched as Buffy staked her vampire and ran over to where Spike was sitting and used the axe to slice through the rope that bound him.

"How many more are there?" She asked, noticing that the Immortal had his back turned to them and gave Spike one of the stakes that she had stored in her back pocket.

"I have no idea love. These were the only two that I saw. Do you know any of them."

"That one, Angels fighting, is Lucius. I just find it hard to believe that he only brought two others." She said as she sliced through Willow and Giles' ropes as well. "Go outside. Get away from here." She shouted at them as she watched them run out of the room.

Spike ran over to the vampire that was fighting with Angel, staked him from behind, watching as he turned to dust, and allowed Angel to stand back up. "Thanks." He said but just as they were about to take the immortal, three more entered the room.

It continued this way for what felt to them like hours, although in retrospect it was probably more like thirty minutes. They were getting tired but they had to push through this, it was the Immortals plan to try to wear them out before they could touch him. He was after all, a very powerful man.

Willow and Giles were in the hall trying to figure out if there was anything that they could do to help the others. It seemed that less vampires were filing into the room and the satiation was almost under control. Giles wasn't as strong as he once was, his age had started to take a toll on his body and Willow, out of rehab was still apprehensive about taking on forces that might require her to use more power than she was willing to put out. However, if things went terribly wrong she had everything she would need to back them up, her powers were strong enough to do that much.

As Buffy and Spike went to stake the final vampire, an arrow was shot from a dark side of the corner. It was aimed at Buffy but Angel saw it, and jumped in front of her, the arrow piercing his skin through his right shoulder as he fell to the ground. Buffy stopped what she was doing and Spike drove the stake into the vampire, watching as Buffy went to Angel.

"Angel?" Buffy asked her voice weak as she kneeled down.

"Don't… Go finish this." He said, as the Immortal walked closer.

"What did you do to him!" She shouted as she jumped up, there was only a few feet of room between her ex-lover and herself, rage flowed through her blood as Spike staked the vampire who made the shot and then advanced toward the middle of the room where Buffy and the Immortal were standing.

"I suppose you figured the prophecy was about you. It was never about you love. You were the pawn to lure him closer to me. You see, a lot of us don't want him walking around anymore, he's caused too much trouble. Especially for Wolfram and Hart. I had intended to kill him over a year ago, I knew they were in Rome and I was going to use you to get them to come. The idiots gave up though, and returned back to the states so I thought the only way to get them to really fight me was to kill you. And I might have failed at that originally, but I think I'll let you live long enough to watch him die. It's a pretty high dose of poison, I give him about thirty minutes to an hour tops. Unless you want to let him drink from you again, this time he'd have no choice but to kill you. Pretty genius on my part I do believe." He looked at the door and saw Willow and Giles standing there. "Oh voyeurs. Would the two of you like to come in and watch as well. The show is about to start."

Willow ran over to where Angel was laying on the ground. He was sweating furiously, the pain obvious to anyone. She tried to think of the things that she could do, if there was any way that she could save them without Buffy having to sacrifice herself for it, and maybe bring him back in a way that would allow him and Buffy to be together. The Powers that Be were strong but she hoped that maybe her powers could surpass that, allow them both to live some kind of a semblance of a normal life if she could keep him from dying. She knelt down, took his hands and started to whisper something quietly, blocking out the commotion being made in the back.

Buffy stood up, fire in her eyes and she took the axe and advanced on the Immortal. "You have no one left to protect you and I have one more who can help me. Mind if we just cut to the chase? You killed my…" She racked her head, what would she call him, "You are killing my boyfriend and that… You're going to have to die for that." She said trying to stay calm and not break down, even though it was killing her inside.

Spike stood there and looked around, he knew he needed something more than a stake but he didn't have anything. Over at the door he saw Giles searching through a bag and watched as he pulled out another axe like tool, motioning for Spike to take it. Running over he grabbed the weapon and returned to where Buffy and the Immortal were fighting, watching, ready to jump in when he had to.

As Buffy swung the axe, the Immortal caught it, shoving her down, and standing over her, now holding her weapon. As quietly as he could, Spike moved behind him and with one swift swing, cut the Immortal in the arm, causing him to drop the axe and turn to see what had disturb him. Before he knew what hit up, Buffy had stood back up, axe in hand and the axe made contact with his neck, severing it as they stood around and watched him turn to dust.

She dropped the axe and ran to Angel, who still lay on the floor, shaking uncontrollably. Willow stood up and allowed Buffy to take her place as she moved Angels head into her lap. He smiled weakly up at her as she put her hand on his cheek. "You have to." She said pushing her hair off her shoulder. "I'm not going to let you die."

"I won't kill you so that I can live."

"You have to live, it will be like last time, and we'll get me to the hospital in time." She pleaded with him but he just closed his eyes trying to make her understand.

"This isn't like last time." He said reaching up and touching her. "It's more powerful. And a hospital is too far away."

"No Angel no! You can't leave me. You can't. We haven't had enough time together. I can't let you die. I can't lose you." Her eyes were wetter than ever and the tears were streaming down her face. "I love you. Please don't leave me."

"I love you. Don't cry, please don't cry. I don't want our last moments to be of you crying." He pleaded. "I need you to be strong. I love you Buffy, no one has ever meant as much to me as you have. I'll always love you." She leaned down when he finished speaking and kissed him, trying hard not to cry but she couldn't help it, she felt as though she was losing part of her heart, as he lay there weak and debilitated.

Willow stood off to the side with Giles and Spike as they watched. "I'm not sure it's going to work." She said.

"What did you do?" Spike asked, his eyes not moving from the scene. He watched as Buffy laid her head on Angels chest, laying there next to him as she sobbed.

"A long while back I found a spell that, if said before one was going to die would bring them back. I changed it a little, thinking that maybe it would bring him back human, but I don't think it's going to work." She whispered as Giles rested his hand on her shoulder. "She'll get through this right?"

"I don't know…" Giles said, watching as Buffy let out a scream as Angel turned to dust.

Spike ran over to her, scooping her up in his arms. She lay there, weak, defeated. Although she didn't physically die, she did die emotionally. He carried her slowly, and motioned for the others to follow him as they took her up to Angel's room so they could clean her up and put her to sleep.

**A/N: One last chapter to go. I've almost finished it. It's not very long but I'm going to do a sequel. It will have a happy ending! I promise! Leave reviews!**


	22. Chapter 22

Chapter Twenty-Two

They opened Angel's room up and took her to the bathroom, Spike still holding her in his arms as she cried into his shoulder and Willow turning the water on, drawing a bath for her. It was quiet, no one knew what to say to her, what they could say to comfort her, to make her feel better. She thought back to her experiences with Tara, but no… It wasn't quite the same thing.

She turned the water off when the tub was filled and helped Spike undress her.

"I can take care of this. Maybe you shouldn't be here." Willow said to Spike.

"It's nothing I haven't seen before." He tried to joke but Willow shot him a look. "I'm not here to see her naked, I'm here to be her friend."

She could tell he was being sincere and did not protest to his being there after his comment. Once she was undressed, they lifted her into the tub, Spike keeping a hand on her back to keep her propped up and not allowing her to sink into the water. The tub was filled with dust, presumably Angel's remains, and although she had no more energy left to cry, she sat there, in the water, staring off into space, unaware and uncaring of what was going on around her.

They lifted her out of the tub, drying her off and because they couldn't find anything else, dressed her in one of Angel's shirts and a pair of his boxers. Sitting on the couch as Giles prepared the bed, Willow forced her to drink water, afraid that she was going to dehydrate, but all it did was allow the tears that would have fallen to appear. They brought her to the bed and laid her down, pulling the covers up and waiting until she finally cried herself to sleep, occasionally calling out for him.

Giles motioned for them to join him by the couch, and Spike and Willow walked over to him.

"I don't know if she will come out of this. But someone should stay with her."

"I will." Spike said. "That way if someone comes to find her someone will be there to protect her." Willow looked apprehensive about leaving her alone with Spike.

"I'll stay too. She'll need a friend when she wakes up. I want to try and help her through this." Spike nodded, knowing that she was doing the right thing.

"I'll sleep on the couch; it's closer to the door. Willow, you can stay with her in the bed." Willow nodded and Giles said goodnight, taking one more look at Buffy as she lay there and then opened the door and left.

Spike grabbed a pillow and laid down on the couch, wondering how they were going to get her to pull through. Spike had seen the arrow but he hadn't thought about jumping in front of it, and when he saw that Angel did, he realized that things were going to be different. Angel really was a champion, he sacrificed himself for the one person that he loved and although Spike was willing to help Buffy, he wasn't able to man up and jump in front of the arrow, fearing the consequences. To him, it proved just how much and just how deep, the bond that Angel and Buffy had, and he felt foolish for ever trying to stand in the way of it. He closed his eyes and tried to find rest, his body was exhausted.

_A few hours later_

Buffy awoke with a start, sitting straight up in the bed and trying to catch her breath. Her heart felt as though it was beating faster than it was suppose to. She looked to her right, hoping that the events were just a terrible dream, that he would be there, asleep next to her, but all she saw was Willow, sleeping peacefully.

Quietly she got out of the bed and walked to the window. It was still night, and the new moon meant that there was little to illuminate the sky, only the gentle glow of the city lights. She opened the curtain a little more and wrapped her arms around her stomach, trying to hold herself back, to try and get comfort wishing that they were his arms, wishing that he hadn't tried to be the hero, because if he didn't he would still have been there with them. She starred off into the darkness, the tears starting to form once again and fell down her cheek as she closed her eyes.

_They made it back to his apartment after escaping from Spike and Drusilla at the docks. She was wet from jumping in the water and the cool night air froze her skin. They stood in the room and he noticed she was shaking._

"_You're shaking like a leaf, "He commented, watching her closely._

"_Cold." She stammered, rubbing her arms with her hands._

"_Let me get you something." He rummaged around, pulled out a dry shirt and a pair of pants, and handed them to her as she sat on the bed. "Put these on. Get under the covers, just to warm up." He turned his back giving her privacy. "Sorry." _

_She moved her arm and winced as she came across a cut on her shoulder._

"_What?" He asked, worried._

"_Oh, um… It's okay. I just have a cut or something."_

"_Can I… Lemme see." He turned and she looked over her shoulder to see him looking at her._

"_Okay."_

_He lowered the straps of her tank top down, her shoulder now bare as he leaned down and inspected it. She felt her heart beat wildly as his hand grazed over her bare skin, "It's already closed. You're fine."_

"_You almost went away today." Her voice solemn. _

"_We both did." He responded and watched as she started to sob, the tears forming in her eyes._

"_Angel… I feel like I lost you… You're right, though. We can't be sure of anything."_

"_Shhh. I." He started to say as she turned to face him, his hand still touching her bare skin._

"_You what?" She looked up at him, his eyes full of love._

"_I love you. I try not to, but I can't stop."_

"_Me, me, too. I can't either."_

"_Buffy, maybe we shouldn't…"_

"_Don't. Just kiss me." She said and he leaned down, kissing her passionately as they began to explore each other. The parts of each other's bodies which had always been covered, always seemed forbidden, now at their fingertips. He made love to her, passion filled, blissful love, unaware of the consequences that it would cause. They lost themselves in the moment and she gave herself to him, fully and completely, surrendering herself to the love that she felt for him, and the love that she knew he felt for her._

"You went away today…" She whispered to her reflection, her hand touching the windowpane, feeling the cool glass under her hand, wishing that it were him. "I've lost you."

Spike had heard some rustling and sat up. His eyes first glanced at the bed to notice that she was gone and then he turned to the window and saw her standing there, gazing off into the unknown, her hand resting on the glass window. He could hear her talking to herself and he could only imagine how much pain she was feeling right now. He was blaming himself, this would have been a much easier ordeal if he had jumped in front of that arrow instead of Angel, at least then she could be with him, but he shook his head, it just wasn't meant to be. But he couldn't imagine that she was suppose to be this torn up either, that she disserved to be this miserable. He lay his head back down, he would listen, not watch, allowing her some privacy, some space to mourn but still listening to make sure she was safe.

But she didn't stand for much longer, instead, she walked back to the bed, got under the covers and tried to fall asleep. Her eyes were tired from crying and when she closed them, they stung. Her whole body felt numb but the stinging told her that she was still alive, alive and all alone.

_Meanwhile, in another dimension_

"Welcome, Angel." He turned hearing his voice being called. He had no idea where he was. The room was white, everything around him, white. 'So this is what it's like… To truly be dead and not in the hell dimension being tortured,' he told himself. Looking around trying to find the source of the voice.

"Who is there?" He asked. "What's going on?"

"Do you remember what happened?" The voice continued.

"Buffy, she was being attacked, my goal had been to go into that and protect her, to make sure she came out alive. I didn't want to be alive without her around and she can do so much more good than I can. So I jumped in front of the arrow and I allowed it to hit me instead of her. I guess it was suppose to hit me the whole time. But after that, the events get pretty muddled. I remember her there, with me, talking to me, crying. I assume they killed him but I can't remember anything else." He responded, still unsure as to who he was speaking to.

"We have never seen a warrior with so much love for another. Willing to sacrifice everything so that they could live. You were brave and through your sacrifice, the Immortal was killed, and his plot to destroy humanity thwarted."

"Destroy humanity?" Angel questioned.

"For the past three years, we have been observing the Immortal, tracking him. He was summoning up a few of the evil powers and plotting to create an apocalypse, to bring forth hell on earth. Many have tried and none have succeeded. Thankfully he was stopped before he could, but there are others, others who are working with him who are going to try and fulfill his final wishes."

"And Buffy?"

"She is a necessity, she must be around to stop the next war."

"Will she live?"

"I cannot tell you that. I am only an informer, sent from the Powers that Be."

"Is she… Is she okay? Will she be okay?" The voice did not say anything but before him a cloud appeared and through it he could see that it was night, and he was shown his room back in Los Angeles.

_Spike was sitting at the couch, watching her from his seat. Willow was still asleep in the bed. He looked closer and he saw her form, clad in his shirt and underwear standing at the window, her hand pressed against it as though she was trying to reach out to something to take her away from there._

"_You went away today… I've lost you." He heard her whisper as the image moved closer. He could see her eyes through the reflection of the glass. They were red from crying and the tears continued to stream down her cheeks._

He felt his entire body ache, if only he could hold her, be there and dry her tears.

"She is broken." The voice said. "Unwilling to fight, she has become a lost soul among the living. Everything that she wanted for her life is gone, taken from her in one brutal act. In her mind, she blames herself, but it was all part of her destiny. Your destinies have been intertwined and will remain so. She cannot fight the next battle without you, she won't be able to survive much longer without you."

"So she is going to die?" He asked.

"No. We are sending you back, as a human. Your powers will be maintained, your strength, but you will no longer be immortal. The two of you will fight side by side, and we bestow upon you the job of keeping her safe. You will protect her and we will send you messages of things that are to become in order for you to carry out your task."

"When? When do I go back?" He could feel the happiness fill his body. He would finally be able to be with her, to really be with her, to give her the life that she disserved, the life they disserved together.

"Once your strength has been restored, we will send you back. Until then, you can only watch. We will be in contact in the near future. Good luck Angel." The voice said.

Angel looked around, the room that was once white had been transformed and he was standing in a replica of what looked like his room back in Los Angeles. It was only a matter of time, he would need to rest up and gather his strength back quickly so that he could return to her. She was after all, his and only his, it just took him awhile to realize that even the powers had intended for it to be.

**A/N: I was planning on waiting to post it but I didn't want to deprive anyone who was thinking that Angel was gone forever! I hope that you enjoyed reading this story as much as I have enjoyed writing it! I am hoping to do a sequel but I will not be able to start it until after Tuesday at some point. The story will be longer and more involved... There will be more than one evil. I just though that this story centered predominantly around the Immortal so it should end with that battle. Anyways thank you to everyone who has been reading it and leaving comments! I love you all for that! Please let me know what you have thought about the story as a whole and what you think about a sequel! Thanks again!  
**


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